The Gratuitous Wonder of Unbounded Joy

Any number of Orthodox conversations turn around the topic of “theosis” (to become “like God”). I’m never quite sure what people have in mind when they invoke the term. Do they imagine divine power or a transfiguration in divine light? In a culture marked by success stories, it’s easy to imagine theosis as just that. Indeed, I’m told that among Mormons, their teaching of theosis imagines each of us getting our own planet. How American.

The Scriptures have very little to say about becoming “like God.” However, they are not silent on the matter. There are two key passages that come to mind, both from similar places and topics in the gospels – one in Matthew, the other in Luke.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven; for He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others? Do not even the tax collectors do so? Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” (Matthew 5:44–48)

“But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” (Luke 6:35–36)

“Sons of the Most High” – this simple phrase is the equivalent of theosis. And the model is quite clear: God is utterly generous, giving to all without regard to what they might deserve. “He is kind to the unthankful and evil.”

Our culture is deeply transactional in its shape and theory. We buy and sell and give rewards to the deserving. We proudly declare, “There’s no such thing as a free lunch.” For many, there is a deep-seated satisfaction with what they “earn.” Indeed, when the “undeserving” are rewarded, segments of the culture fall into deep dudgeon.

Perhaps this is a proper way to structure an economy (perhaps not). It is clearly not a blueprint of the Kingdom of God nor the path towards likeness to God. The words of Christ are not exaggerations – to be like God is to enter into a path of gratuitous generosity – to give without expecting in return. It transcends the debt-burdens that are the hallmark of transactional cultures. God is “kind to the unthankful and evil.”

The transactional world of reward and punishment is also a world in which those who have seek to exercise power over those who have not. Little wonder that we expect God to do the same. “Why do the evil prosper?” is the complaint of our transactional mind. It is not fair. It is not just.

St. Isaac of Syria wrote: “We know nothing of God’s justice – only His mercy.” This makes complete sense in the light of these verses. The nature of the Kingdom of God (as revealed in the commandments of Christ) is utter gratuitousness – it is grace poured out without measure.

One interesting place to see this at work is in the giving of thanks. In a culture of transaction, the question concerning thanks is always framed in terms of “for what am I giving thanks?” We assume that a transaction has taken place – we have been given something and should therefore be thankful. It can be as though the giving of thanks is a payment for services rendered. Though it is entirely appropriate that we give thanks for what we have received, it is also appropriate (and important) to give thanks freely without regard for what we have received.

Christ, in sending His apostles out on their first mission, said:

“Heal the sick, cleanse the lepers, raise the dead, cast out demons. Freely you have received, freely give.” (Matt. 10:8)

In the same manner, in the passage from Luke cited earlier, He said, “Do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return.” This can be practiced easily by sharing our goods with others. It can also be practiced in the manner in which we give thanks.

To give thanks, purely as a gift and not as a transaction, is to enter into the gratuitous character of God Himself. It makes of us “Sons of the Most High.” We become like God. This is a habit of the soul. Grounding ourselves in giving thanks always, everywhere, (and for all things – or simply as an act of worship) draws the soul into union with the gracious God. Learning to give thanks apart from a transaction can also teach us to give to others without a transaction – expecting nothing in return (including meeting our expectations of usefulness and worthiness).

Hidden within this is a joy that a transactional life cannot match. It is a participation in the generosity of God, the light of kindness in the midst of a dark world of selfish greed. This joy is rooted in love, for it is love that gives without expecting in return, that refuses transactions, that forgives seventy times seven, that rejoices in the rain that falls on everyone without regard for their just deserts. It is love that gives thanks always and for everything.

Joy.

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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44 responses to “The Gratuitous Wonder of Unbounded Joy”

  1. Helen Avatar
    Helen

    Good morning Father. It is astounding to me how much I look through the lense of transaction, completely immersed and not being aware. Thank you for shining a light on this!

  2. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Helen,
    Indeed. In the transactional life, it seems that everything is about debt – either we owe more than we have – or feel that others owe us more than they give. Such debt creates a poverty that burdens the soul and pulls us away from ourselves and (seemingly) from God.

  3. Helen Avatar
    Helen

    It feels like I’ve left a country (transactional) and am headed to a new land and am not sure where that is or how to live there. Wow, it’s understandable when we see Christ’s crucifixion through the transactional lense we get theology that misses. We get a life that misses.

  4. Christian Shaun Hollums Avatar
    Christian Shaun Hollums

    Where would you place Eros in this conversation? I love what you have to say about agape, but how do you avoid turning “agape” into another rule or command? How might desire complete agape?

  5. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Christian,
    I’ll speak from within my experience (because I’m not sure how to parse it philosophically). The joy and wonder that comes from simple gratuitous generosity seems to give “shape” to eros – to the desire for God. “God” is easily an abstraction. God in His gracious gift of all things to us – is properly the object of our eros. It informs agape. It’s as though God were dancing and simply invite us to dance with Him.

  6. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    I have a friend staying with me until he gets back on his feet (he was out of the country and recently returned, a bit destitute). He insists in paying me for putting him up, although I told him he need not. He is deeply immersed/buried in a transactional lifestyle–indeed, he groans if I offer to buy him a malt when I’m getting one at the drive-through at the local Braum’s. His reply is always, “I don’t want to do that to you”, as if I’m being horribly taken advantage of. He has insisted that, when he gets back on his feet, he will randomly send me money in thanks for my letting him stay at my house (on top of paying me for staying).

    This is incredibly frustrating to me and I get very angry over it. I have little issue being thankful for other’s generosity and I just don’t understand how someone can be so opposed to simple, small acts of grace being extended. My own anger at this reflects that I too need to work on not making this a bigger issue. It’s been difficult for me to try and figure out how to do that and I’m not sure I even know.

  7. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    I suppose I wrote the preceding to ask, “how are to be thankful for other’s intransigence?”. It’s extremely frustrating, especially between friends.

  8. Randall Avatar
    Randall

    “If a poor man asks you for something, he is not begging—he’s offering you the Kingdom of God.” ~Arsenie Papacioc

  9. Christian Shaun Hollums Avatar
    Christian Shaun Hollums

    Father,

    I think you capture the experience beautifully.

    What I’m trying to understand more deeply is the metaphysical ground of that experience. Dionysius says, “God is Eros” and is the foundation for why creatures can desire God at all. It seems to me that Eros is already inside the Trinity and creation is the overflow of God’s eros. If that is true, then eros is the structural movement of reality. Eros & Agape are one divine movement refracted into creation.

    If God’s love is both agape (self-gift) and eros (desire for communion) what does this mean for theosis? It seems to me that in theosis, we not only give ourselves to our neighbors — we also desire to share our life with them. If our eros is properly ordered like God’s, we will desire those who hate us, want communion with sinners, and delight in the existence of the unthankful and the evil.

    Perhaps the difference between moralism and theosis is whether our agape is joined by eros. The divine longing that the other exists, flourish, and share life with us.

    Curious to hear your thoughts.

  10. Debby Zigenis-Lowery Avatar

    Thank you, Father Freeman. Your post has made me feel shiny with joy!

  11. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Christian,
    I find it hard to dance and think at the same time. Today, my soul would rather dance. Forgive me.

  12. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    How are you defining moralism, Christian?

  13. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Christian,
    I didn’t mean to sound flippant in my reply. But, metaphysics only becomes a question for me when it comes as an answer to a pressing need. I’m just not sure of how to parse an answer. I think moralism often speaks (comfortably) in terms of debt (which is bondage), while love (of which eros is somehow a subset) speaks in terms of freedom. Galatians comes to mind. Also, I think of St. Isaac of Syria’s writing about God’s manikos eros – God’s “manic love” or even “crazy love.”

  14. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Byron,
    I have similar needs and questions that you have raised. My prayer is asking God to help me love my enemies.

    It seems to me that our culture has an ethos of toxic shame based on the lack to have monetary means. And I further believe men take the brunt of this shame if they lack monetary means.

    My husband is a farmer, and I have so much gratitude for the life we have through his back-breaking work (most work is manual due to our more meager means and the small size of our farm). But it is difficult for him to appreciate it as much as I because his earnings from this work are much smaller and more tenuous (based on weather since we don’t have a greenhouse) than my own. He often expresses sorrow for not providing more. I keep telling him I don’t want more. But he still carries the shame nonetheless.

    All I can say or offer is to pray for him. He’s been raised in the “transactional way” and he doesn’t want to increase his indebtedness. There is grace to give and there is also grace to receive. I pray to be thankful for *all* things. And that isn’t always easy.

  15. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    Thank you, Dee!

  16. Esmée Noelle Covey Avatar
    Esmée Noelle Covey

    “The best way to show your gratitude to God and to people is to accept everything with joy… Let us be thankful for everything!”

    +Saint Elisabeth the New Martyr of Russia

  17. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    Father,

    This is somewhat off topic from this blog (perhaps not!), but I just reached where you share an ancient homily on Christ’s encounter with Adam. I have read it and reread it-

    When Christ appears and Adam strikes his breast in terror and says to everyone, “My Lord be with you all,” and Christ answers, “And with your spirit.”

    What a scene!

    And when the Lord commands Adam to rise, because they are now one person and cannot be separated.

    I did not create you to be a prisoner in Hell, Christ says to him.

    !!!!!!

    I don’t have the right words as you can see. You write that it can be understood as a dialogue between ourselves and Christ in the suffering and shame that hides in our own soul. If I try that, I will burst into tears. But I will see if I can find the courage.

    God bless you!

  18. terence Avatar
    terence

    Father,
    I find everything you write truly profound and extremely moving, thankyou for every inspiration

  19. Christian Hollums Avatar
    Christian Hollums

    Father,

    That wasn’t flippant at all.

    St. Isaac’s ‘manikos eros’ seems to say that God’s love is not only generous but ecstatic. All I was really trying to express is that if our love in theosis becomes truly free, then it must share in both movements of God’s love: the agape that gives and the eros that desires communion. They are one movement. Without longing for the existence and flourishing of the other I think our love easily collapses into moral effort.

    Matthew,

    In this context I would define moralism as agape without eros. It is the performance of outward acts of generosity without the inner movement of desire for the other’s life, communion, and flourishing.

    That’s why I think it’s important to speak of eros and agape as one movement in our lives. Moralism imitates the appearance of agape but lacks the divine movement that is agape.

  20. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Christian,
    That clarification is most helpful – and true.

  21. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Christian.

    I always thought agape love was simply God-like love and that eros had to do with sexuality. Then there is (I think) philos (friendly love) and stoge? (family love?).

    I think I need to understand these different kinds of love first and then I can begin to determine if when I love someone I am doing it with inner conviction or simply out of moral obligation.

  22. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    In Orthodox theology, these terms have older meanings (some of which overlap with modern usage).

    agape: self-sacrificing love (like God’s love)
    philos: friendly love
    storge: familial love
    eros: desire

    In a number of the Fathers, eros is a very important term, so much so that it’s frequently translated as “love.” It is the desire that moves us towards something or someone. Obviously, it can be devalued into “erotic” – as it most often is used today. But desire is deeply important in all things. It’s sort of the “energy” that drives us – so it’s important that it be rightly directed.

  23. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Fr. Stephen.

    So … when I love someone charitably speaking; when I give to someone in the city who is begging for example – it is possible that I am extending some form of agape love, but that I also am doing such minus eros? I think this is what Christian is getting at.

  24. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    Thinking about “eros” in the context of charity, for example, is thinking about inner motivation, more or less. Christ criticizes those who give their alms in order to be seen as giving alms – and tells us to give “in secret.” To be “rightly ordered” is for the soul to do the right thing for the right reason…with the right disposition, etc.

    FWIW, don’t over-think it.

  25. Other Matthew Avatar
    Other Matthew

    The truth is, the word agape in Greek simply means the same thing as the English word love. Because St. John writes “God is love (O Theos agape estin)” and of Saint Paul’s praises of love (agape) in 1 Corinthians 13 it has come in English to mean a God-like form of love. However it is also used in phrases like “they loved the darkness more than the light” and “the love of money” as well as for romantic love in the translation of the Song of Songs.

    The whole notion may have been created by C.S. Lewis who wrote a book called “The Four Loves”, although it may have appeared before that. The word “eros” never appears in the bible and Saint John appears to use “agape” and “philos” synonymously.

  26. Other Matthew Avatar
    Other Matthew

    Oops I missed Father’s last comment. (Don’t over-think it.)

  27. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Other Matthew,
    In the conversation between Christ and Peter, after the resurrection, there is a clear distinction between agape and philos – without which the passage makes no sense.

  28. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    I don´t want to over think it Fr. Stephen, I simply want to understand my motivations. Am I doing something charitably because Christ said to do it or am I doing something charitably because I have a desire, an inner conviction, to be in communion with the one to whom the charity has been extended?

  29. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    Sometimes, we do something because it’s the right thing to do, even if our inner motivation is still sort of messed up. We can “give” and pray that God “create a clean heart” in us. It’s not unusual for actions to come first.

  30. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Fr. Stephen.

  31. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Other Matthew.

    Eros does not appear in the New Testament, but would you agree that the concept of eros is affirmed there? I am speaking about passages that discuss marriage for example.

  32. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Interesting Fr. Stephen … I hadn´t learned that eros was about desire specifically. I had always been taught that eros is a physical, sexual kind of expressed love. I was also unaware that the word eros is not in the New Testament. Is there a reason this word was avoided by the writers of the New Testament?

  33. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    I don’t have any idea why the word (or if) is avoided in the NT. It’s a common philosophical term in earlier Greek writers – and figures quite prominently in later works such as St. Dionysius the Areopagite.

    But, “eros” in the sense of sexual desire is a pretty modern usage.

  34. Mark Spurlock Avatar
    Mark Spurlock

    Perhaps Eros was avoided because of its pagan god namesake?

    Cursory research offers “it had become culturally degraded” by the time of the New Testament, but I cannot find an explanation of what that means or, therefore, evidence in support of the assertion.

    (Eros is used twice–with negative connotations–in the Septuagint’s Proverbs.)

  35. Christian Hollums Avatar
    Christian Hollums

    Matthew,

    To piggie back off Fr. Stephen Freeman (who is spot on) for the Greek patristics (especially Gregory of Nyssa, Dionysius, Maximus the Confessor) Desire is the dynamism of created being. It is not a psychological accident. It is the movement of nature toward its fulfillment in God. There are multiple Greek words for “desire” (or what might be translated “desire / longing / appetite / striving”) in ancient Greek; and some of these appear in Scripture (New Testament or LXX/Septuagint). For example, in the NT, “epithymía” appears (as noun) about 38 times. It’s meaning covers a wide range: sometimes neutral or positive longing (e.g. longing for Christ, longing for fellowship); if negative its translated as “lust,” “coveting,” “sinful desire,” “desires of the flesh.” All negative descriptions are disordered desire. Lust is disordered desire for example, or you could say a distortion of desire.

    The Scriptures don’t use the word eros, but the Scriptures absolutely describe desire. “Desire” is the bridge to “eros.” Scripture knows desire and it’s theologically plausible (and historically orthodox) to adopt “eros” as a conceptual category. “Eros” is not a biblical term it is a philosophical-theological interpretation of what Scripture and patristic tradition point toward.

    What has been helpful for me to wrap my head around everything is to think of agape and eros as two aspects of one divine movement of desire. Desire is ontological, not emotional. Eros is the energy of communion, not the feeling of longing. Agape is the form of desire’s self-gift.

    So, when we start to think this way we can see that giving ourselves should be accompanies by a desire to be in communion with those, we give ourselves too even if they reject us, even if they can offer nothing, even if in giving ourselves they take everything.

    The martyr is a revelation of ontology. The martyr does not only give himself.
    He desires the very life and salvation of his persecutors. This is theotic eros. The martyr participates in the same divine eros that desires all to be saved, longs for the lost, loves the unthankful and evil, pours itself out even toward enemies, dances outward, drawing all into life

    This is the Love of Christ on the Cross, and the martyr shares it. The martyr doesn’t merely give his life against his enemies; he gives his life toward them. St Stephen is the first icon of the erotic side of martyrdom. “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” (Acts 7:60)

    For me personally this movement towards my enemies has been a real indication that I’m acting through moral effort or if I’m participating in God. If inwardly my heart pulls away from the person, if my deepest movement is avoidance, recoil, fear, or contempt, then my outward action may be correct but my inner movement (eros) is absent. That’s not to say this is not about “failing a moral test.” It’s about allowing the lack of inner movement of love vs. the outer performance of kindness reveal itself.

    If my soul pulls back from the person I am “loving,” I am not yet in the ecstatic movement of Christ’s love. I may be doing the right act. But I am not yet participating in the divine mode of loving.

    Theosis is not behavioral. It is ontological.

  36. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Thank you, Christian. I’ll think about this. Of course, theosis is not behavioral – but ontological. Everything “real” is ontological.

  37. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    This is somewhat off topic from this blog (perhaps not!), but I just reached where you share an ancient homily on Christ’s encounter with Adam.

    Jenny, where did you read this?

  38. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    Byron,

    In Father Stephan’s book, “Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame.” Needless to say, it is an excellent book, full of interesting passages. He notes that it’s believed to be written by Epiphanius of Salamis.

  39. Simon Avatar
    Simon

    St. Dionysius is drawing on Neoplatonic language when he speaks of eros. That influence is well-attested, and there’s nothing surprising about it. The same kind of adaptation happened in the fourth century, when Christian theologians appropriated Neoplatonic terminology to articulate the relational structure of the Trinity. And it’s no different with the early desert monks: they absorbed elements of Stoic moral psychology and reframed that vocabulary to express the distinct contours of monastic life.

  40. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Simon,
    Indeed. St. Dionysius was extremely popular (as far as we can measure such things) in the monastic reading world (5th century and beyond). He coined the word “hierarchy” – which has not attested use prior to him. However, we see its widespread use in the years following his introduction. He clearly had a project of Christianizing Neo-Platonic thought/vocabulary, which is the opposite of Platonizing Christianity. But his work became some of the most widely read works of the Middle Ages. He fell out of favor with the onset of the Reformation.

    My Archbishop, Alexander Golitzen, did his doctoral work on St. Dionysius, and has some recorded lectures on his work that I’ve seen on Youtube. He left Oxford and spent the next several years at Simonopetra on Mt. Athos and wrote his dissertation there, having become a monk. That’s probably the right context in which to read him. 🙂 I really hadn’t read much of St. Dionysius until Abp Alexander became our bishop – and it piqued my interest. It has been interesting. Abp. Alexander has also done a lot of work with the Syriac Fathers (St. Isaac, St. Ephrem, etc.).

  41. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Abp Alexander has written on some very interesting topics–eye opening.

  42. Eric N Dunn Avatar
    Eric N Dunn

    Fr Stephen
    I have recently been randomly giving to homeless persons, of which there are an abundance in our area. It’s a challenge not to judge or give in a transactional way. Past lecturing by others and self have dictated I choose something worthy within the person I give too. Don’t give to those who, “fill in the blank” etc. The list was long and stifled my willingness just to give. Now I’m trying to give without judgmental hindrance. I’m slowly changing and feel less captured by the transactional bug. My past was not Orthodox. But I know the freedom Orthodoxy has provided will continue to draw me closer to Christ and want to be like Him.

  43. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks ever so much Simon and Christian. Your thoughts and comments help me so much.

  44. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Eric,
    Thank you for your words. A good reminder for us all.

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