The Path of the Good, the True, the Real

Imagine a character in a story who is wraith-like, barely existing. His every move threatens to draw him deeper into non-existence. As it stands, others around him are only able to see him moments at a time. He often disappears for whole days at a time as he lapses into such ghostly non-being that he cannot be seen at all. Each step he takes either diminishes his existence or establishes it. As such, the path he takes is a matter of life-or-death.

Although this is fantasy, it is a way of seeing our lives that allows us to envision what is actually taking place. We move through our days and with each step, we move either towards the truth of our existence, the fullness of our being, or we move towards non-existence, non-being. Each step towards the truth of our existence is an action of goodness, a move towards that which is good, or, ultimately, a step towards God, who alone is truly good. Each step away from that goodness, away from the path towards God, is a movement away from existence, a movement towards non-being.

St. Sophrony wrote of what he termed “hypostatic existence.” It was language, drawn from the tradition, that sought to describe a way of being that, at best, we have all only begun to taste, but for which we all hunger. It is personal, indeed, the only truly personal existence. It is personal but not private. It is the very mode in which we rightly exist as persons.

When we speak of the Holy Trinity, and the personal existence of God as “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,” we are speaking of a kind of existence in which no person of the Trinity can be expressed in a manner in which He is alone, or considered apart from the others. The very name, “Father,” asks, “Father of whom?” The name, “Son,” carries a similar question, as does “Spirit.” It is among the many reasons that substitute terms such as “Creator, Redeemer, Sanctifier” are woefully inadequate and inappropriate. Such terms are functional (at best) but reveal and convey nothing of the hypostatic character of the persons of the Holy Trinity. It is God Himself who has made Himself known to us as “Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.”

The movement towards such a hypostatic/personal existence, is a movement towards an existence that mirrors that of God. Again and again, Christ teaches us to love: love your neighbor, love your enemies, give to your neighbor, give to your enemy, forgive everyone and all. And He repeatedly tells us that such actions are to be undertaken, “So that you may be like your Father who is in heaven.” Love is more than moral – it is the very nature of true being and existence. Those who refuse love are choosing a path towards non-existence.

It should be common knowledge (though it is not) that the whole of our purpose in this life is communion with God, and, together with Him, communion with all of creation. In the darkness of our present world, we imagine such things as communion to be a “lifestyle” choice, a term that describes little more than a reasonable relationship. In contrast to this, St. Silouan of Mt. Athos proclaimed, “My brother is my life.”

How would our day be different if we understood that the well-being of each person around us was the single necessary thing of our life? Perhaps the first thought would be: “exhausting.” That is, no doubt, true. Our relations with others are often quite distorted, driven by their neuroses and our own. We serve others because we want to be liked, or to receive the same thing in return, or to avoid unpleasantness. We rarely experience acts that are truly born of love. Our hearts are far too complicated.

The spiritual path towards true existence is difficult and even tedious. It requires attention and repentance, the willingness to expose ourselves to God in the naked, honest truth. However, this is not a journey we make alone. St. Paul declares, “Christ within us, the hope of glory.” (Col. 1:27) If St. Silouan was correct in declaring, “My brother is my life,” then we must understand that Jesus has said as much of us: “You are my life.” We have no such declaration in the gospel, but we are told, “…that you may dwell in Me, and I in you.”

We have been shaped far too deeply in our modern individualist world-view. We hear Jesus saying nothing more than, “I’ll help you from time to time,” and we pray in precisely that manner. We fail to see that the Life-of-Christ-in-me is also living and willing my life (Phil. 2:13). Learning to live in union with Him, in a communion of life and action, is the very heart of the life of grace.

If we return to the original image in this article, it’s also possible to use it in understanding our movement away from God. Among the greater lies of our present time is the notion of a “secular self,” that our identities are the products of our own efforts and imaginings. Various forces within us are deeply vulnerable to this siren song of non-existence. We are constantly bathed in the images of the “successful,” touting various versions of desirability. Of course, though various people may be used in selling these images, the truth behind it all is a sham. Hollywood (to use only one example) is rife with misery – failed marriages and lives, overdoses and suicides. Though it rallies itself for political causes and moralistic pronouncements, careful examination reveals only a culture of self-indulgence and emptiness.

The material success of modern technology creates an allusion of greatness. To a great extent it only bears witness to power and wealth. Much that is deemed “progress” is accomplished only through the forced measures of our various artificialities. Money and technology cannot create goodness. Only that which is good, in communion with the Good, has any abiding existence. All else is “hay, wood, and stubble” in the words of St. Paul (1Cor. 3:12).

If, by some stroke of judgment, our world were suddenly stripped of its “hay, wood, and stubble,” leaving only the abiding presence of the good, we would see the truth of things. Many things (and people) who are presently despised would be revealed to be royalty and as brilliant as the noon-day sun. So much else, including people, would be seen in a diminished state bordering on nothingness.

The goodness that is the gift of God, the truth of our existence, is acquired moment-by-moment. I frequently encourage people to “do the next good thing.” We cannot grasp the good as an extended long-range plan. Such things are themselves little more than imaginings. When we study the commandments of Christ, they are quite concrete and specific, admonitions for each “next thing” that confronts us.

When the Rich Young Man came to Christ (Matt. 19:16-22), he asked “What good thing must I do to inherit eternal life?” Christ directs him to God, who alone is good. When pressed further, Christ directs him to the commandments. When the young man presses yet more, he hears the ultimate good thing: “Sell what you have. Give it to the poor. And come and follow me.”

This example confronts us in each moment of our lives. There is ever the possibility to “sell what we have” – to give away the false structures and inauthentic identities that we cling to (including their material support) and to “give to the poor” – to love the other (neighbor, enemy) who stands before us. “My brother is my life” is the renunciation of every false form of wealth and the acquisition of true existence – life in Christ. The treasure of the Kingdom of God is buried in the life of my brother, my sister.

One step. One day. One moment. One commandment.

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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23 responses to “The Path of the Good, the True, the Real”

  1. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Father,
    These words are so comforting. Sometimes I really struggle with loving others, especially those who express their disparagement of me in both underhanded and sometimes quite explicit ways. It seems that this disparagement arises more often than not from a mixture of envy and covetousness. When I try to deal with this, I remind myself as often as possible that this is the way of the culture (modernism, individualism). It seems that how I am perceived (among some people) is aligned with how it is perceived that I don’t deserve the things (material goods, recognition — you name it) I have. I am not what I’m supposed to be (i.e., subservient, ingratiating) in a culture that values and heralds material prestige among those who deem themselves worthy. Obviously, I’m not worthy. And oddly enough, I’m ok with that.

    I am no saint myself. I lose patience with bad or inconsiderate behavior. And unlovingly, I gloat when someone with bad behavior (basically a bully) has a comeuppance. While it is difficult, I know in my heart that it helps my deepest being to say to myself, “My brother is my life,” as I struggle to love. I’m working on accepting the cross that has been given to me. But I need to do more than ‘accept’. This is a cross, which is given to me by our Lord, not to grumble about or build resentment. I believe more is asked of us than to endure, as you point out, but to love others as Christ loves us. This is the ultimate truth of the goodness of our reality, and our very life depends on it.

    I pray the Lord bridge the gaps in my heart. As I understand it, the spanning of these gaps begins with eating a bit of humble pie.

  2. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    I remind myself that God Himself is humble – or, as St. Sophrony said, “God is humility.” As difficult a meal as “humble pie” might be – it is the eucharist in another form.

  3. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Indeed, Father. This is so true.

  4. Mallory Avatar
    Mallory

    But sometimes…wouldn’t God, or virtue, peace, love, want us to learn how to stand up to our brothers or sisters? I think sometimes religion as well as New Age thought can make someone feel guilty for feeling justified anger at someone, and, well, stopping the often deeply entrenched and accepted patterns of abuse, basically. The answer can’t always be just to love your brother, or to say “my brother is my life” I’ve seen too many examples of people who have finally given “goodness” up, done the hard thing, and gotten free from a toxic relationship. What I’m trying to say is many of us, especially women, have been trained to be people-pleasers from such a young age, before we even knew what kind of training we were undertaking, and sometimes growth is doing what an old version of yourself would have deemed “unkind” (because it made someone unhappy or uncomfortable) but is loving to yourself. Or is “loving your enemies” not doing this, seemingly freeing yourself, at all? What are your thoughts on this?

    I hope this makes any sense. As always, thank you for your writing.

  5. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Mallory,
    I don’t it’s healthy for anyone to stay in a toxic relationship or environment if it is possible to avoid it.

    For me there is a fine line between being an enabler of bad behavior (by staying silent or submissive) and calling it out without malice. It’s a very narrow road that I often fail to walk with the Lord.

  6. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mallory,
    To a certain extent, martyrdom is voluntary. We do not have a commandment to become martyrs. In the early Church, the debate surrounding this (and there was a debate) centered in “running away.” “Is it acceptable to run away in order to avoid martyrdom?” The question involved the behavior of a bishop. Is a bishop who runs away to avoid martyrdom, abandoning his flock? Opinions varied (especially concerning bishops). But Christ Himself speaks of “fleeing to another city” when persecutions arise. (Matt. 10:23)

    In the same manner, we are not required (even by love) to endure toxic relationships. Boundaries, healthy boundaries, are part of love. Love involves self-emptying, but it does not involve the disappearance of the self. I think we easily find ourselves in a bind in unhealthy relationships. Often, an abuser is quite adept at manipulation, gas-lighting, etc., and violating boundaries. Love requires boundaries. The Father is not the Son. The Son is not the Father. The Holy Spirit is not the Father nor the Son, etc. This is at the very heart of Personhood.

    How this extends, case by case, in the love of enemies is an essential part of that conversation.

  7. Rachel Avatar
    Rachel

    Fr. Stephen, do you have any plans to publish a book of your posts? I get so much nourishment from your words, but I also have a hard time reading online. I would love to have your posts in a book so that I could really savor and absorb every word.
    Thank you so much for the wisdom that you share.

  8. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Rachel,
    My wife asks me the same question, and has offered to help me with that task. So the answer is: “I hope so, and my wife hopes so.” She has such power in my life that it might actually happen!

    There are, however, something like 2,500 articles (yes, I hardly believe that to be true). But, I would do some sort of selection and organize them. There are “themes” and there are repetitions. But, I think it would be a worthwhile project. Thanks for the encouragement!

  9. Mallory Avatar
    Mallory

    Thank you for this response, Fr. Stephen.

    A book would be wonderful! I get so much out of what you’ve written in the comments as well, I wonder if any of that could be woven in. Thanks again. I have many screen shots of your words on my phone for when I need an immediate reminder of how to do the next right thing (often)

  10. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    I agree that Fr Stephen’s words are so edifying! Even better to listen to him speak. Watching videos of him is a treat! Thanks so much, too, for this blog <3

  11. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michelle, Mallory, et al
    I confess that large projects are really difficult for me (including books). It’s a brain thing (ADHD). Writing an article works well, but can take days. I’m heading into a season with several trips and talks coming up, which takes far more preparation time than most imagine. All of it is a joy – and a spiritual discipline. But I produce far less than many writers and speakers. We’ll see what God has for us.

  12. Esmee Noelle Covey Avatar
    Esmee Noelle Covey

    The need to love one’s enemies has been brought to the forefront this past week in a very dramatic way for all of is I think. I found the homily Father Andre Paez (St. John the Evangelist Church, Tempe, AZ, OCA) gave on the Feast of the Exultation of the Cross to be very helpful. He reminds us that as Orthodox Christians we have no enemies except the demons. People themselves are never our true enemies. I will share the link here in case others wish to listen.

    https://youtu.be/8FyfOamEn6I?si=0mMCwVUKJK1OcaNJ

  13. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Esmee,
    Thank you!

  14. Ed Avatar
    Ed

    I teach Worldview to seniors at a private, Christian High School. Every week we hold a Harkness Table Discussion based on readings related to our topic. This past week were the topics of morality and death as they relate to Christian Theism. To give the students some dichotomy to discuss, I chose an article on the need for conversion from John Piper and your blog article, “The Medicine of Immortality.” The discussion was lively and quite enjoyable. By the end, all sections of the class had concluded that salvation is not a one-time transaction, but a process with a guaranteed outcome if one chooses to stay in the process. And, the life of our hearts, minds and souls is never stagnant. We are either moving towards God or away from Him. The morning after our discussion, I woke to find this new article in my inbox. I shared the link with my students as a follow-up and encouragement. May the Lord continue to bless your work, Father. It is of utmost importance.

  15. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Ed,
    I can’t begin to say how much I appreciate your note – and I give thanks that you are teaching these young people. May God bless them in the path of salvation and remember us all!

  16. Joanie Miller Avatar
    Joanie Miller

    Thank you for this reflection.

  17. Charles “Lou” Weissing Avatar
    Charles “Lou” Weissing

    I write in appreciation of you and in reliance on the work of the Lord. In March of 2010 one of your articles blessed me after the death of my mother. Now this one blesses me upon the death of my wife. Memory is pain , especially as I have miles to go. (I am your age and have three young children to raise). So thank you again. For her, there is no memory of wrong as she loved — her husband, her family, her God — much.

  18. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Dear Lou,
    Regarding your dear wife may her memory be eternal. Her life in joy in paradise. I pray for your own healing of the pain of her passing and joy with the young ones God has given you to care for. This evening you and your family are in my prayers.

  19. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Father,
    I was in a national meeting with engineers who encourage a deeper AI-human relationship in which the human cognitive functions are described as a machine interfacing with AI functions. The words were not recorded or repeated, and said so quickly that I wasn’t sure I heard correctly or believed my ears.

    Whether or not it was said as I heard, the characterisation of the human “mechanism or machine-like” operations have been used at least since the industrial age.

    When we want to talk about the fullness of being there is a suggestion that such machine relationships will elevate who and what we are along with what we do. But it seems to me that such interrelation obscures who we are as persons.

    An astronaut stood on the moon and cried when he witnessed the earth rise. I believe he had a glimpse of who we are.

  20. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Charles,
    May your wife’s memory be eternal – and may God give you comfort! This is a hard loss.

  21. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    I think that when I relate to a pet dog or cat, I become more human (and they become even greater!). But the machine does not become “better.” We will not be made better – other than, perhaps, possessed of greater information. But we need only look around in our “information society” to see that more information is not the fix that we were promised.

    More “information” is, ultimately, driven by the desire for profits. Fortunes have already been made with AI. And some have already been impoverished.

  22. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Indeed, Father!
    Also interestingly the person who said this encouraged engineering faculty to encourage students to study philosophy and psychology in an effort to build better understanding of our relationship to AI and machine culture and arrive at the “truth” about this relationship. Perhaps there might be some good in this. But for me this was also a suggestion that these disciplines or at least some facets of them are geared to inculcate how to drink the Coolaid.

  23. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    AI can be quite a sophisticated “machine,” and will likely become moreso. I’m quite displeased with the amount of unwanted stuff that is popping up social media (and elsewhere). If I had requested it – I suppose I would be grateful. But, the more sophisticated it becomes, the greater its potential for generating misleading and false material (it’s bad enough with people disregarding the truth – much less being able to do so in a sophisticated manner).

    It’s generally the fact that this is happening without any feedback or request from the public. It’s not the “market” – and, as such, is a serious infringement on our freedom. Of course, I can just turn stuff off.

    I suspect it will have a reckoning one day. (I know that I certainly will!)

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