Me and My Bible

How do you feel about the Scriptures? What thoughts come to you as you read? Do they comfort you or challenge you? Do you love them or wrestle with them? Does God speak to you in them or are they opaque and bothersome?

My primary relationship with the Scriptures as I was growing up was as a “Bible.” It was a book I carried with me when I went to Church. There was no Bible reading in our home. There was a large “family Bible” that was positioned on a coffee table in the Living Room. Generally, it was never opened. The books, both my personal copy and the family copy, were objects.

My first attempt at reading the Scriptures happened around age 15. I was reading some essays of Tolstoy that were given me by my older brother, a college student. Tolstoy exalted the Sermon on the Mount above all of the Scriptures and pressed his readers to treat them as literally as possible. Those few short chapters became my “Bible within the Bible” for a time. It was the first time that I had ever read the Scriptures with an assumption that they were supposed to speak to me.

In college and seminary, I was introduced to the historical-critical method of reading Scripture. I had little understanding that the method entailed a world of theological and metaphysical assumptions and that a veil would suddenly be placed between my heart and the text. I offer an analogy.

Imagine that every time you receive the Holy Eucharist, your mind is filled with thoughts of the chemistry of bread and wine. Indeed, the thoughts become so dominant that the presence of Christ is largely forgotten. In particular, the relationship of heart to sacrament is disrupted. If, in such circumstances, someone began to absent themselves from communion, it would not be surprising.

The reading of Scripture in the life of the Church is quite properly compared to the reception of communion – for the Scriptures are best described as sacramental in nature.1 Like many other things in the Church’s life, this sacramental view was disrupted by certain currents within the Reformation and subsequent modern developments.

As the Reformation rejected the authority of the papacy, questions of authority naturally arose. Sola Scriptura (Scripture alone) became the default position. But how was the Scripture to be read? As time moved forward, history became the dominant means of interpretation and reading. By the 19th century, history became embedded in the new “science of history,” in which various pieces of evidence (archaeology, etymology, etc., and an entire notion of peer-reviewed speculations) were brought forward as the arbiters of how we read.

If the whole time you read, the question is, “Did this happen? Did it happen like this?” etc. there is no engaging of the Scripture as Scripture. The distance between reader and text could hardly be greater.

I was schooled in these methods. At the same time, I was aware of the older, sacramental view of Scripture and I found myself wrestling with the two. I have (from time to time) humorously quipped, “I was trained as an Anglican: I can doubt anything.” It’s a joke, but it’s also a description of an inner voice that chatters on at unwelcome moments. It creates separation during times when communion and intimate participation are required. I suspect that I’m not alone in such an experience.

In the early Church, the Fathers were insistent on the four gospels, well aware of the discrepancies between their accounts. They were not just insistent on these texts, but were equally convinced that the number four itself was significant. And so we have the Tetramorph, seen in Ezekiel and in Revelation, with the four beasts around the throne of God: the image of a man, a lion, an ox, and an eagle. To this day, these are the images of the four evangelists and the gospels. It places us in the midst of a full sacramental vision.

In the Orthodox Church, the book of the gospels rests on the altar. This, too, is sacramental, representing the “Lamb’s Book of Life,” as described on the altar in heaven. The ceremony that surrounds the reading of the gospels calls us to the sacrament. “Wisdom! Let us be attentive!” We stand to listen. We venerate the book with a kiss. It is not a response of analysis but of love (the language of the noetic life). Learning to read the Scriptures as sacrament is frequently difficult for many people.

Interestingly, my wife grew up with a sacramental view. She was raised in a pious Baptist family, where, she says, the Scriptures were not hammered as “this is the Word of God you have to believe everything in it.” Instead, it was seen as the book through which and in which you encounter God. God speaks in the Scriptures.

This is a place that I have worked to nurture in my own heart. The historical-critical years and training never truly disappear. Indeed, sometimes my own questions may legitimately go there – the early Fathers sometimes posed historical questions – they are not out-of-bounds. But it is essential to understand that this easily interferes with the Scripture as sacrament – with the Scripture as the place where we encounter God Himself.

The ability to perceive in a sacramental manner (which is noetic perception) is deeply crippled in our culture. We are driven by information and are highly skilled at obtaining it. However, it can make us unable to hear what is unspoken or to see what is hidden. Such signals can be deeply important in human relationships, both with others, ourselves, and the world around us.

St. Porphyrios famously said that “in order to become a Christian, one must first become a poet.” It is a way of expressing the sacramental character of life in the world. Our drive to manage and control (“If I knew and understood, then I’d know how to fix”) puts poetry on mute. Every human being, every blade of grass, even the whole of the world is a sacrament of the good God.

In my life at present, I work to silence the historical critic who resides in my head. When I need his questions, I’ll consult him. But I strive to still my heart and let it be present to the voice of God – in the Scriptures – and in everything around me. St. Ignatius of Antioch wrote: “He who possesses in truth the word of Jesus can hear even its silence” (Eph. XV)

“The heavens declare the glory of God;
And the firmament shows His handiwork.
Day unto day utters speech,
And night unto night reveals knowledge.
There is no speech nor language Where their voice is not heard.
Their sound has gone out through all the earth,
And their words to the end of the world.”

(Psalm 19:1–4)

Wisdom! Let us be attentive!

____

Photo: My childhood Bible, with markings from my time as a “Jesus Freak.”

 

Footnotes for this article

  1. Hans Boersma, an Anglican, has a very helpful book, Scripture as Real Presence: Sacramental Exegesis in the Early Church.

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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70 responses to “Me and My Bible”

  1. Esmée Noelle Covey Avatar
    Esmée Noelle Covey

    I just finished reading Mary Ford’s book The Soul’s Longing which is all about how destructive the historical-critical method of Biblical interpretation has been for Christianity in the West. I first encountered Christ through the Jesus Seminar folks and, while “interesting,” it offered me nothing for my heart. Thankfully, Christ eventually reached my deep heart through another book The Mountain of Silence, which introduced me to a number of Saints who were utterly simple and extremely humble. It is hard for us modern Westerners to lay aside our intellectual minds and embrace Christ “foolishly” with love. I am still working on it.

  2. Cliff Avatar
    Cliff

    Like Mother Beth, I was introduced to the scripture as sacrament when I was involved in the Navigators. All the memorizing, studying (6 hours per week for 4 years), and reading was the the ground work, but it was the meditation (Josh 1:8) that lead to the doing, that revealed the hidden mysteries within the bible. Even got a little nugget to chew on the other day from (2 Tim 3:16) thinking about the difference and ramifications between inspiration and dictation. For much of my life I believed the inerrancy of scripture was like dictation, and must be followed as such. Inspiration, however, is a bit of a loose canon, much like Christ’s ministry in the gospels. But upon reading (Jn 14:6) I found that it’s the inspiration of the Holy Spirit in our lives that gives scripture it’s power toward salvation. The point is to act upon the scriptures in the same way it was given to us, through inspiration.

  3. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much for this Fr. Stephen! I have so many things I want to share, but I´ll start with these:

    When I was a “Jesus Freak” (truth always being told, I still am one but in a much different way), I had a Bible with similar markings in it. It might be somewhere around the house … have to check 🙂

    The train wreck for me was when Holy Scripture became disconnected from the sacramental life of the Church. I attempted to explain this to a guy at work who is a former JW turned some sort of German evangelical. He asked me why I became Catholic, and for me this was one rather big reason which I wanted to articulate to him. He listened intently as I explained things as lovingly as I could, but at the end of it all I think he remains committed to his evangelical leanings.

    I love Holy Scripture. I read it. I pray with it. I believe God speaks to me through it, but I no longer worship it. In terms of interpretation, I do have the Orthodox Study Bible which I use most of the time to help me. I intend to purchase a new Catholic Study Bible at the end of the year. All that said, it has taken me a very, very long time to understand the proper place Holy Scripture has always had in the Church and the sacramental nature of all things scriptural. Being active sacramentally and litugically again has taken Holy Scripture and how it speaks to me to new places. I am so thankful for that!

    I only wish more Protestants would experience, understand and embrace all this.

  4. Angie Avatar

    Thank you for this, Father Stephen. I am in a Psalter group and getting stuck on some of the wording in Psalms (Psalm 108, especially).
    My priest was very helpful in discussing this with me. I feel like I can better read these words after my priest’s guidance on these things.
    I do wonder though, how to digest the Scriptures as Sacrament, like you mentioned. My Protestant background seeks to read every verse with the idea that it’s going to speak to me (unless it’s a story of a person or event in Scripture…but even then, I look for the symbolic elements). I am in constant tension when I can’t decipher any relatability or even, apparent contradiction to the heart posture we’ve been told is “Christ’s”. I have also grown skeptical of the idea of God speaking through His word to help guide me in a particular issue or circumstance, because I worry about confirmation bias and interpreting Scripture in a selfish way.
    I want to just read as a poet. But then, I guess I fear complacency if I don’t try and work out the deeper elements—the culture, context, Church Fathers’ perceptive…etc.
    I would love to fall in love with Scripture without needing the understanding element.
    I am conflicted and maybe not as de-protestantized as I thought! lol.
    Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but this post is hitting me right where I find myself these days.

  5. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Esmee said:

    “Thankfully, Christ eventually reached my deep heart through another book The Mountain of Silence, which introduced me to a number of Saints who were utterly simple and extremely humble. It is hard for us modern Westerners to lay aside our intellectual minds and embrace Christ “foolishly” with love. I am still working on it.”

    Hello Esmee. The Mountain of Silence was a very good book for me. I would agree that it is hard for us modern westerners to lay aside our intellectual minds. I too am working on this … everyday it seems. I would also agree that liberal Christianity (as most conservative American Christians label it) and its higher critical methods of biblical research and interpretation have wreaked havoc on our faith in the west.

    Biblical liberalism and biblical fundamentalism are two sides of the same coin really. They´re what you get when you disconnect Holy Scripture from the sacramental life of the Church. 🙁

  6. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    For me Holy Scripture and the Holy Sacraments bear witness to the same truths: the Incarnation, the Cross and the Resurrection.

    Jesus introduced Himself to me in 1968 by confirm for me that He is real. No Sacraments, no Bible, no Worship.

    He introduced me to His Mother in a Biblical, sacramental cult in 1972.

    She introduced me to her real Son, and the Sacramental Scripture in 1986 when I walked into an Orthodox Church (Antiochian) for the first time.
    They each have been growing on me ever since through His Grace, Presence and Mercy.

    Glory to Him for all things even my pain and loss during that time.

  7. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Angie,
    Long ago, I learned the practice of “just put it on the shelf” when I run into something that I can’t seem to digest. I have favorite parts of Scripture – but am often surprised but something I didn’t expect. Beneath all of it is the importance of settling it in my heart that God loves me unconditionally, and that everything that happens to me (despite my many failings) is something He uses for my good.

    One of the things I learned over the years is how incredibly biased and nonsensical much of historical-critical work is. It is almost never anything more than an “educated” guess, when the “educated” simply means reading other people who think like you.

    Recently, I’ve been serving (assisting) in a Greek Orthodox parish where all the texts are bi-lingual, and the services switch between languages along and along. I can read Greek fairly well – and it’s being something of a “noetic language fest” for me. Some of it has to do with getting out of my own language and listening in another. But, what I get is often a “word bomb” here and there – something that just blows me away.

    The services of the Church (Orthros is a theological feast beyond measure) are straightforwardly poetry. It should tell us something.

    Also, I might add, “a little is a lot.” If when reading, something speaks, take time – linger – maybe read no more that day.

  8. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    This article really speaks to me, Father. Thank you so much for it.

    I struggle still with reading the Scriptures consistently. In my upbringing, a study of Genesis (for example) was always accompanied by a heavy-handed historical literalism and pseudo-scientific explanations for how the world could appear as old as it is while still only being 6,000 years old. Or very strange historical pseudo-scientific readings of certain miracles. For all the criticism of historical-critical method in the circles I was in, I think our was a veil just as thick.

    When I first became Orthodox, I set the Scriptures aside for a while. I think I needed almost to “forget” parts of them in order to hear them again. Attending Orthros helped a lot. More recently, Fr. Stephen de Young’s “The Whole Counsel of God” has been helpful, too (lots of “wow” moments). St. Ephraim’s hymns, etc, as well.

    You wrote, “It’s a joke, but it’s also a description of an inner voice that chatters on at unwelcome moments. It creates separation during times when communion and intimate participation are required. I suspect that I’m not alone in such an experience.” You most certainly are not.

    I had something of an epiphany while reading your post. I have children with ADHD (as I myself do) and autism. The struggle can be great sometimes. I have spent a large part of my parenting life trying to “understand” my children and find “strategies” to help them with their behavior. Oof. Fool’s errand. It can leave one feeling rather helpless.

    I recently started reading a book which may actually explain their struggles better than I’ve ever heard described – but the real power of the book seems to be in helping a parent pass from understanding into connection. Treating my children like a puzzle to figure out does not increase communion or connection. Understanding their struggle so that I can find ways of more deeply connecting with them is altogether different. And in truth, I don’t really need to fully understand in order to connect. The author is quite clear that we shouldn’t focus on behavior but on connection. Connection will heal what a focus on behavior never could.

    After reading your post, it seems to me that my struggle with the Scriptures is similar. I too often treat them like a puzzle, when I really need to treat them as a manner in which I might have communion with God Himself. They are given to increase relationship, not to answer my own curiosities.

    It is much easier for me to make that adjustment with my children. They are persons, I love them dearly, and it when they have struggles I can take a step back and see strive to see *them*. I’ve noticed that it is also easier for me to have a connection with the Saints when their icons are before me. I see them, I sit with them, I look at them, I talk to them, and I’m not trying to puzzle anything out but simply “be” with them.

    You have written previously on the nature of the Scriptures as icon (or “Icons do with color what Scripture does with words”). It’s only now occurring to me… is this the “mental shift” I need to have with the Scriptures? To see them as an icon? As making a person (Person) known to me? When you speak of loving the Scriptures, is it akin to loving the icon of Christ? Or, for that matter, loving my children, even needing to see “beyond” the veil of struggles and to actually look deep, to see them?

    I am sorry for the length of this post. I had numerous “ah-ha” moments while reading, and I wasn’t sure how to boil them all down. Thank you, Father.

  9. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    This brought to mind few thoughts:

    I tend to say something along the lines of “Salvation is not an intellectual endeavor”. Of course, everyone says they agree with that, but…upon further discussion…that whole “believe” thing turns up and one begins defining terms a bit more.

    I recall my New Testament teacher in Seminary once remarking that a student wrote a paper applying the historical/critical method to the story of Snow White. The professor, in good humor, reacted to the received paper with a bit of umbrage. He held the h/c method in high regard and, as I recall him telling, the student’s paper was quite critical of it.

    Lastly, and I’ve told this story previously, I recall my NIV Bible (with all my extensive notes from Seminary written in the margins) was one day destroyed by my anxious Bulldog (the same which snores contentedly at my feet while I type this) while I was away. It took very little for me to consider that a good happening. Indeed, one of the things I did/have done since entering the Orthodox Church is to try and move away from the historical/critical mindset. It’s really above my pay -grade anyway. Just my thoughts.

  10. Jane Avatar
    Jane

    Thank you for this article, Father. I am currently reading Acts. I see now thar I should try to read in a new way and I will try it tonight, returning to this article to help me along the way. Thank you, Father.

  11. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Nathan,
    Very good thoughts. May God bless you in your reading!

  12. Kenneth Avatar
    Kenneth

    When I first converted to Orthodoxy from a Protestant background, I took a break from reading the Scriptures for a while because I no longer wanted to read them like a Protestant but was unsure how to read them like an Orthodox Christian. However, last year I started reading the Gospels and Psalms, because of how pervasive they are in Orthodox liturgy. I realized that with less than 10 minutes of reading twice daily, it’s possible to read all 4 Gospels and all of the Psalms every 4 weeks. As a result, I’ve learned the Gospels and Psalms way better than I ever knew them before. However, I have a tendency to focus on learning details and patterns, whereas it can still be an ongoing challenge to experience the Scriptures sacramentally for communion with God. I think Fr. Stephen’s advice about “a little is a lot” is the best. It’s good to slow down and linger.

    I also just ordered Patrick Reardon’s book Christ in the Psalms, which hopefully might be a good resource on an Orthodox reading of the Psalms(?). Any other resource recommendations are welcome.

  13. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    “Imagine that every time you receive the Holy Eucharist, your mind is filled with thoughts of the chemistry of bread and wine. Indeed, the thoughts become so dominant that the presence of Christ is largely forgotten. In particular, the relationship of heart to sacrament is disrupted.”

    Thank you Father Stephen. This has struck a chord. I am grateful.

  14. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Kenneth,
    Fr. Reardon’s book on Christ in the Psalms is very high on my list. The Psalms, if you will, carry in them the voice of Christ.

  15. Esmée Noelle Covey Avatar
    Esmée Noelle Covey

    Thank you for your comments, Matthew. 🙏

  16. Kenneth Avatar
    Kenneth

    Thank you, Fr. Stephen! Perhaps as one example of what you just mentioned, I read that Orthodox monasteries have traditionally understood Ps 118 LXX (or 119 in the Hebrew numbering) as messianic, ie, spoken by Christ, and as a “compendium of the ascetic life.” This was amazing to me and I look forward to learning more.

  17. christa-maria Dolejsi Avatar
    christa-maria Dolejsi

    father stephen, nathan. “connection will heal what a focus on behavior never could” thank you for your reminder … communion can only occur heart to heart. endless trying to figure out what is my loved ones problem and how to best help keeps me in misery, and us separated. I have set myself up as judge once again of anothers behavior. Father, please elaborate on ‘seeing’ ourselves and others as being made in the image of God…Is it acceptable to say that we are all icons of God? Is it true to say that we have love, only because God so loved us? because he made us in love, and for love? It is in the receiving of the sacraments; confession, forgiveness, the eucharist that my heart becomes alive through love. It is such a daily struggle ‘see’ myself as an icon of Christ , to let go my cares. “Lord have mercy ”
    By the way nathan, what is the name of the book?

  18. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Christa-Maria,
    I think you touched on the key to “seeing” ourselves and others as being made in the image of God. It is love that allows and energizes such seeing. I have written elsewhere that “only love understands anything.” We live lives that are assaulted day in and day out by things that seek to drive love away from us. It is a struggle, for sure. For myself, when I’m having a hard time letting love rest and remain in my heart, I try to recall times when it has done so. It helps me to remember that the noisy times are not the masters of my life. Christ, who is Love Incarnate, and His victory on the Cross are the assurance that Love (for “God is love”) will reign over all.

    May God give you strength and patience!

  19. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Nathan said:

    “After reading your post, it seems to me that my struggle with the Scriptures is similar. I too often treat them like a puzzle, when I really need to treat them as a manner in which I might have communion with God Himself. They are given to increase relationship, not to answer my own curiosities.”

    This really resonates with me Nathan. For so long Holy Scripture, for me, was as you say … a puzzle to solve. Growing in the knowledge and experience of Holy Scripture as sacrament; as a way toward communion with God; is really important to me now.

    Years ago, I would read a passage in Holy Scripture and then attempt to discern what it was saying to me personally through the Holy Spirit. Often I was absolutely sure what was being said to me … like a country to go to for missions work as an example … but as time wore on, I became less confident.

    It´s interesting. Now that I am regularly partaking of the sacraments and participating often in the liturgy of the Catholic Church, when I engage Holy Scripture now there is something very different about the experience and also about the interpretation. I cannot really express it in words, but something is going on.

    I am thankful for that as well as for your comment.

  20. Angela Avatar
    Angela

    Hi Father, growing up in a rather austere Greek Orthodox Parrish in the Midwest, Reading Scripture was not emphasized – and anyways, the few times I tried to read the KJV, it was futile! Now that I am “pre-old”, I read regularly and to answer your questions, they both comfort and challenge me, I love them and wrestle w/them, God speaks to me and I am lost, at times. (At This point in my life, I am comfortable with being lost)Also, they can be fascinating and riveting and deeply profound and other times, I struggle to make it through a tedious passage.
    All of it ! It’s a full experience and it occurred to me just now, that those experiences reflect life and relationships!
    I love the Bible, it’s taught me our salvation history, it teaches me about God , and it gives me great needed strength and peace. It’s a manual for living! God Bless my Priest, Father Stavros in Tampa, who encourages Scripture reading!
    -Blessings

  21. Daphne Avatar
    Daphne

    Dear Father Stephen,

    Thank you for your writings.
    Yesterday, I had a conversation with an Orthodox priest and he told me that more and more of God has been revealed since the time of Christ. That we have more knowledge at our disposal of God than before and therefore more potential to know and understand God (this was my take away at least). Also, that intellectual (rational) understanding go hand in hand with experience of God. I am struggling with this concept. From readings I have gotten the impression that our rational understanding of God are bare glimpses and that they do not at all compare to experiential understanding.
    Passages about children and humbling ourselves like children seem to point to the the insignificance of our rational understanding. How important is a good theological understanding for knowing and loving God? What about people who are incapable of such levels of abstract thought? If our potential to know God continues to increase should we not expect there to more and more saints? This seemed to tie in with your article, forgive me if this is not on topic. I was hoping you could share your thoughts.
    Thank you.

  22. Esmée Noelle Covey Avatar
    Esmée Noelle Covey

    Kenneth, Saint Theophan the Recluse has a line-by-line commentary of Psalm 118 which I really enjoyed.

  23. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    Christa-Maria, the book is called “Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors” by Robyn Gobbel. I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is, on the surface, a book about helping children with trauma. At its core, though, it is very much about communion, grace, and love (though the author doesn’t exactly use those words). If what she writes about the neuro-science of the brain is true, then it seems to me to be a confirmation that Christ crucified is at the very heart of our biology as human beings.

  24. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    Matthew,

    It’s funny, I came from almost entirely the opposite direction. I was taught that Scripture was almost never speaking to me directly but rather a set of objective principles that had to be discerned through proper theological systems. I also was quite certain I knew what the Scriptures meant. Of course, I often doubted.

    I guess what I find humorous about it is that we came from two very different backgrounds, and yet seem to have had relatively similar experiences. I have noticed that being the case more and more as I get older. Things I once thought were opposites are actually closer than I once thought.

    I hope that means we’re drawing closer to Christ and that He’s opening our eyes to see things more clearly!

  25. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Nathan. I was in both charismatic and non-charismatic American evangelical circles for a lot of years. The “theological systems way” and the “speaking directly way” are two systems that I am familiar with. I began my new life journey, though, in charismatic circles. It was from that experience I was speaking from mainly.

    I think our experiences are similar because of what I keep hammering away at:

    At the end of the day, when Holy Scripture gets disconnected from the sacramental life of the church things can get very “Wild West”. My hope and prayer is that through regular participation in the sacraments and the liturgy, I will draw closer to Christ which in turn will open my eyes to see Holy Scripture in more fulfilling and edifying ways which are consistent with Christ´s person.

    He is the Living Word after all!

  26. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Daphne,
    I do not think that the knowledge of God is cumulative…or that there are troubling assumptions behind that thought. There are many treasures of knowledge and such that are given to us from the saints across the centuries. However, reading their experiences is not at all the same thing as having such experiences. Each bit of treasure shared with us serves not to increase our information but to nudge the door of the heart to open.

    I think I know what your priest was suggesting – and I don’t disagree. But each of us must enter the heart and stand before Christ God. That is the core of it. It does not require knowledge – but inner virtues – these are frequently even more present in those who are incapable of abstract thought. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

  27. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    Matthew- Amen, brother!

  28. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Father, is not the process of “knowing God” as much revelatory in nature as it is anything else?

  29. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    “It does not require knowledge – but inner virtues – these are frequently even more present in those who are incapable of abstract thought.”

    Father, this is something I struggle with on a daily basis. For all your writings and all the talks I’ve heard on the body and its importance in Orthodoxy, I still did not understand. I still so often think I can reason my way to virtue. Language in the Orthodox Church about body became for me “how I think of my body.”

    In September, I had the experience of doing a “mindfulness” session with a therapist. It was very simple: breathe, leave your thoughts alone (don’t try to control them, just let them pass by), and be mindful of your body. I did it for ten minutes, and it was like becoming aware of myself for the first time. I wasn’t thinking about myself. I was just “being” myself. I didn’t even know that such a thing was possible. Since then, the books I’ve been reading are mostly about reconnecting with our bodies through very simple, practical means. Even the one I mentioned in my previous comment. And I’ve been trying to daily put them into practice.

    When I hear “inner” I’m still tempted to think of some “mental space” inside myself – almost everything about myself on the inside I conceive of as mental. I’m trying to rephrase this in a way that gets me out of my headspace. But when I read what you wrote above, what I’m thinking you mean is: “Be virtuous in your body, not in your head.” In that context, inner virtue would seem to be “a practiced virtue, settled into my bones” (so to speak). A lived and and settled virtue that is found in my body. It is the kind of virtue that seems to come naturally to my children. And which, I’m ashamed to say, I probably spend quite some time inadvertently training out of them by putting them more into their heads over time.

    I know, I know, I’m still thinking and sorting my thoughts. It’s a process… But is this what you mean? Am I anywhere near the mark?

  30. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Nathan,
    It sounds to me like you’re doing good work. “Getting back into our bodies” is often quite difficult. My parents were simple folk: my dad was an auto-mechanic who grew up on a very poor farm (his father was a share-cropper). My mother was mostly a housekeeper, but grew up on a farm. Neither had any college. But they had great knowledge of dirt, mechanical things, making stuff, etc. Both became Orthodox at age 79. They weren’t “taught” anything. But they took to Orthodoxy like ducks to water – it seemed natural to them. This was especially so when it came to physical worship. Both of them loved communion. Confession was also healing – deeply so.

  31. Kenneth Avatar
    Kenneth

    Thank you, Esmée, for the recommendation!

  32. Joan Moulton Avatar
    Joan Moulton

    In my former work as a clinical research coordinator, I had an opportunity to speak to an elderly woman and ask her if she would like to hear about a research study. I don’t recall her response, but I do remember her Bible. It was bound in a flexible leather cover, and I can only describe it as the most well used book I had ever seen. I was ashamed that my personal Bible was not like hers, and I hope that someday it will be. Now that I am retired I am making up for lost time.

  33. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Joan,
    I once had a patient in my hospice chaplain years, who put a mark in the back of her Bible every time she finished reading it from cover-to-cover. She had noted 95 such readings (more than one per year). She also had a substantial gift of prayer. Mountain woman. Appalachian strong.

  34. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Dear Joan and Father,
    Thank you both for your beautiful comments–an inspiration for me also. I tend to read the Gospels and Psalter and wish often I had more time to read more. God willing my prayer-time-reading will allow for more in-depth reading. Indeed, Father it is a sacrament. Glory to God and to the strength He gives to our Appalachian Mountain people.

  35. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Nathan said:

    “Language in the Orthodox Church about body became for me “how I think of my body.””

    How does the Orthodox Church speak about body, Nathan?

  36. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Fr. Stephen:

    What do you mean by physical worship?

  37. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    Sign of the Cross, prostrations, bowings, lighting candles, lifting the voice in song, etc. All of which use the body (which is not apart from the soul). But, we don’t just sit there and “think” worship.

  38. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Fr. Stephen

  39. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Nathan, in my struggles over the years two experiences have led me to the mercy in my inner heart: 1. Giving tours of the Sanctuary of my parish (some of it just went on line), and 2
    The mild stroke I had a couple of years ago

    We have an icon rich Sanctuary and it is built in the shape of a three barred Cross. We also have a 3 story done with Jesus at the top blessing us. Walking into it one becomes a part of it all so that the foundation of Grace and Mercy is clear. .

    My stroke took away some of my thinking ability so that I just have to “be” with it all inside — I can’t keep it at bay with my thoughts any more.

    My Psoriatic Arthritis was pushing me in that direction before that. His Mercy and Grace got me through the pain replacing it.

  40. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    Matthew, I was referring to especially those things Father mentioned in his reply, along with being present, still, knowing I am my body, embodying the virtues, etc. I have a background in theology and philosophy, and it’s very easy for me to “do” things but still locate the significance of the doing in what and how I’m thinking about them.

    I fear I’ve gone far astray from Father’s original post, so I’ll try to bring it back at least to the Scriptures themselves. When I became Orthodox, I took St. Athanasius as my patron, because his book “On the Incarnation” opened the door to the Fathers for me (I first read it at a Lutheran seminary). Out of all the wonderful things in his writings, it was this quote in particular that stuck with me and in many ways propelled me toward Orthodoxy (which I barely knew anything about at the time):

    “But for the searching and right understanding of the Scriptures there is need of a good life and a pure soul, and for Christian virtue to guide the mind to grasp, so far as human nature can, the truth concerning God the Word. One cannot possibly understand the teaching of the saints unless one has a pure mind and is trying to imitate their life. … Similarly, anyone who wishes to understand the mind of the sacred writers must first cleanse his own life, and approach the saints by copying their deeds. Thus united to them in the fellowship of life, he will both understand the things revealed to them by God and … will receive that which is laid up for the saints in the kingdom of heaven.”

    Though I now understand that I misunderstood much of what St. Athanasius wrote in “On the Incarnation” when I first read it, I had a framework I could “plug” his writings into. This, however, was so far outside the scope of anything I’d ever read, I couldn’t understand it at all. And I was utterly baffled as to why this was how he ended his book. How could “fellowship of life” illuminate words in a book (the Scriptures)? How does Christian virtue illuminate the mind? Why did he seem to be saying that what I do corrects my mind and thoughts, not the other way around? And what on earth did it have to do with the incarnation of Christ?

    It seemed clear to me that St. Athanasius (and the Orthodox, as I later came to understand) saw the relationship between mind and body almost entirely opposite from how I understood that relationship at the time. Understanding begins with my body and the life I live. If my mind is to have understanding, that understanding must first be embodied. Physical worship, lived virtues, embodied repentence, etc.

    I hope that makes sense. Apologies if I didn’t explain well. This is all still a struggle for me. I revert easily back to a mind-first mode of living and being. I think that’s the best I can explain. But I hope it helps unpack a little what I meant.

    Father Stephen, thank you so much, again, for your thoughts, advice, and reflections!

  41. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    Michael, that is beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles, and God’s grace in that struggle. I have noticed as I get older, my body has a way of making itself known. I can’t ignore it. Perhaps one day I’ll “be” as you are, as well, by God’s grace.

  42. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Nathan. You explained things just fine. I so appreciate the time.

    “On the Incarnation” has a special place in my heart. My heart burned within me when I first read it some time ago.

    I too was in a Lutheran Seminary, but not for very long. I studied summer Greek there back in the day.

    As a Catholic who many call a “revert” because I grew up Catholic then returned later in life, I am able to see more clearly how as a Protestant I was trying to “think” my way into communion with God (though I would never have said communion or union with God at that time). While the west for sure is more rational than the east when it comes to matters of faith, my “revert” Catholic experience has been just that … an experience. I find myself drawing closer and closer to God in ways I never experienced as a Protestant (not even as a charismatic evangelical); in ways that are much less academic and systematic. I am so thankful for that. The late Fr. Thomas Keating has also been a great help to me as I continue on my journey to spiritual transformation.

    Nathan said:

    “This, however, was so far outside the scope of anything I’d ever read, I couldn’t understand it at all. And I was utterly baffled as to why this was how he ended his book. How could “fellowship of life” illuminate words in a book (the Scriptures)? How does Christian virtue illuminate the mind? Why did he seem to be saying that what I do corrects my mind and thoughts, not the other way around? And what on earth did it have to do with the incarnation of Christ?”

    These are brilliant questions Nathan. Thanks so much for asking them.

  43. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks to you as well Michael. Be blessed.

  44. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Hello again Nathan. Just to clarify:

    Academic and systematic was one side of my Protestant faith. The other side was much less so and also every emotionally driven.

    What I am discovering now is that “experience” with God is much more than I ever thought it could be — even more than the very experiential circles I once ran in.

    Just wanted to be clear. Be blessed Nathan.

  45. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Nathan, Matthew,
    When I think of my reception into the Orthodox Church – it was quite physical. I had long agreed and believed the Orthodox teachings on the faith. What seemed to matter to me most was clearing away all the obstacles so that I could, at last, be a partaker of the Cup. Eating and drinking Orthodoxy seemed far more important to me than my mind when it came down to it.

    I did not write for 8 years after that event, though I had written much as an Anglican. I would say that those 8 years were not nearly so much about acquiring new thoughts – it was about letting my body catch up with my mind – it was about embodying the faith – that was particularly manifest in my labor as an Orthodox priest (which happened 13 months after I was received into the Church).

  46. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Fr. Stephen. Eating and drinking rather than thinking and pondering … interesting really.

    🙂 🙂

  47. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    “Taste and see…”

  48. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    “O Taste And See, Taste And See
    The Goodness Of The Lord, Of The Lord.”

    Amen

  49. Nathan Fischer Avatar
    Nathan Fischer

    Thank you for sharing, Matthew. I know I only pop in and out of the comments every once in a while, but I always love reading the questions you ask and the conversations you have. They resonate a lot with me.

    Father, my coming to Orthodoxy was so much more chaotic. So many questions. So many bad assumptions. So few answers. I’m 10-11 years in and I feel like many things only finally “clicked” around the 8 year mark, as well (your blog has been so instrumental in that process, thank you!). Even so, the last few years have been slowly learning how to let my body also catch up. I’m a slow learner. Thank God for his patience and kindness!

  50. Drewster2000 Avatar
    Drewster2000

    Fr. Stephen,

    Your article provokes a lot of thoughts. I don’t know the best terms to use here, but I have come to think about our interaction with the world around us as being in one of 2 modes or methods. For the sake of this conversation I will call them transactional and relational.

    Using the method of transactions I would look at your bible and try to see what value there is in it. Maybe it would go for a nice sum on eBay or perhaps it’s a great conversation piece or door stop.

    But if I were to view it relationally, this is where I might actually learn to commune with it, to hear God through it, and that kind of thing.

    Again, this topic is making my mind turn, so not a rational flow here…

    I totally agree that a) the relational method is better, and b) the key to it is love. What I have found in this world is that love makes no sense officially. When you operate out of love, the world watches you in confusion for some time. Then finally most just write you off as a fool, even if deep in their own hearts they suspect you’re onto something.

    I think the answer to the transactional vs. relational methods is the traditional Orthodox answer of both/and. Both are actually a part of human interactions. It’s just that fallen man has reduced everything down to a transaction as they operate with darkened minds and live often more like animals when they were meant to be so much more.

    I also think operating out of live is one of the reasons being a Christian is so lonely and hard (at least at times). You are on the path to becoming a true human being in a world that has almost forgotten there is such a path. You are a stranger in a strange land. It is good work. It is fulfilling and exhilarating, but often you have almost no other companions in this journey besides God. You have to fight and consistently go against SOOooo many natural instincts: herd, survival, happiness, abundance, and so on.

    I believe this is where faith is tested. Once a person has ventured far enough on this journey and the false lights and sounds of the Worldly City begin to fade into the background, God’s world starts to become visible. His way of seeing & hearing begins to gain dominance in their consciousness.

    It is the old “believe that you may receive…understanding”. It is revelation but of a more subtle kind that becomes more and more evident the longer we are in the desert of silence.

    Sorry, rambling again…in any case thank you once again for the way you write such inspiring articles that seem to get to the core of so many truths. Please continue being such a wonderful example of the path forward.

  51. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Drewster,
    I think love requires a certain foolishness of us. St. Paul’s words come to mind: “If anyone among you seems to be wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.”

    God give us grace to walk such a path!

  52. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    I don” t think the world necessarily has a problem when we love. There are many loving people the globe over.

    I think the problem begins when we love in the name of Christ and His Church.

    Maybe an over-simplification, but just my 5 cents.

  53. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    Matthew, I think the world prefers love to be generic–much like they prefer the Church to be the same. When one speaks of the particular, the world becomes uneasy.

  54. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    I have to confess, since my stroke, I do not read much BUT, icons have become more scriptural for me. Starting with ‘More Spacious Than the Heavens’

  55. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Agreed Byron.

  56. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Byron,
    Love that is not rooted in the Cross is just a sophisticated form of narcissism.

  57. juliania Avatar
    juliania

    Excuse me for giving this thought on the discussion of being in one’s body — I at once thought of Christ’s statement that when a women is in labor she forgets the discomfort for joy that a child is about to be born. It of course can be a discomforting time (I’ve been through it) but your words here on the subject help me define my own discovery that my own body had previously undiscovered abilities to handle the miracle of birth, without my ‘knowledge’ of the process. And only a few observances of passing away loved ones have had the same holiness about them while also being the body completing its task. (Sorry to not be saying those two thoughts well.)

    Thanks to everyone.

  58. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Hello Byron and Michael.

    I often think of all the people these days who make the heart shape with their hands and then place the shape on their chests. I guess it is a sign of universal love, though I think I would be in close agreement with Michael about his sense of narcissism in it all.

    That said, since the image of the Triune God exists in all people, isn´t even an extension of “heart shaped love” by someone who does not believe in or call on God still beautiful, good, and true rather than completely selfish? Cannot even a false-self wrapped up in ego show a Godly love on its way to finding its true-self?

  59. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew, Michael
    “Love is of God and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God” (1Jn 4:7).

  60. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Juliana,
    Wonderful examples.

  61. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Fr. Stephen.

    I suppose, though, one could ask how is love being defined by John? – or – How does the Church understand and teach what love is? St. Paul´s definition offered up for the Corinthian church immediately comes to mind.

    For me, I think you offer up a solid proof-text. I am more and more committed to the reality that God is in every person. The problem is that many people do not cooperate with His inner grace; they love but know not love´s true source; they know not the power of God within them. They are consumed by the false-self and the myth of autonomy.

    Lord have mercy.

  62. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    “What does St. John mean by “love” is the obvious question, for sure. In that sense, Michael is on to something when he points to the Cross. That “all of creation groans” (Romans 8), is the sound of the Cross that is engraved and written into the very fabric of all creation. It’s certainly the case that human beings were/are created in the image of the crucified Christ (I’ve got an article that I’m posting on Monday that goes into this).

    There are some who are damaged in such a way that they have great difficulty expressing love (such as those described by the term “narcissist”). The love of Christ for all, however, should teach us sympathy and compassion for all – understanding that the rescue of human beings from the oppression of the evil one is frequently a difficult task. But no human being is inherently evil nor completely bereft of grace.

    Grace can enable us to discern the Cross in places where we least expect it. And, sometimes, grace can enable us to play a part in drawing one another past the wound and into a brighter place.

  63. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Father, you are correct, of course. I did not mean to judge narcissism as I have my share of it.

    The Cross still is the standard and the foundation for genuine love—free of self-love which I must guard my heart against.

  64. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Also, I was looking through several prayers from the Antiochian Red Prayer Book that emphasize our heart’s proper orientation and the repentance that helps correct and maintain it.

  65. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    “Grace can enable us to discern the Cross in places where we least expect it. And, sometimes, grace can enable us to play a part in drawing one another past the wound and into a brighter place.”

    Indeed Father, as I drove on a long commute to work, tired, weary, frustrated, suffering in the pain involving work-related issues, I checked the rearview mirror before changing lanes. The view included such a beautiful view of the mountains in sunrise that the experience of seeing it brought tears to my eyes. It seemed to be a gesture of love from our Lord, a grace given to remind me of His presence and to give thanks.

  66. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Thank you, Dee. May the Lord’s blessing continue for you.

  67. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Thank you so much Michael. May He also bless you with His Grace!

  68. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks for your thoughts Dee. Be blessed.

  69. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Thank you so much Matthew! I know you’re in Germany and may not celebrate American Thanksgiving, but I pray that you and your family have a blessed Advent!

  70. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Hello Dee.

    Funny you should mention American Thanksgiving …

    Normally I don´t celebrate it, but this year a friend has invited my wife and I to her place to celebrate the day though with typical German holiday food; duck, red cabbage probably with apples, dumplings, sauerkraut, etc.

    I always seem to enjoy the Advent season here, though it has gotten VERY commercial and few people really have any idea about its religious significance.

    I know it´s a time of great fasting for the Orthodox. I wish you well and will be praying for all of you.

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