The Hands of My Father

My father’s hands were always dirty. As an auto mechanic, the grease and grime of a thousand days never quite seemed to be erased. It was under his nails and accented the wrinkles and creases that marked his life of hard work. My mother always kept a number of abrasive and surfactant cleansers crowded on the bathroom sink, only ever marginally effective. As a child, I loved his hands. In those occasional seasons in which I was given the privilege of assisting in a mechanical task, I erupted with pride if the result yielded dirty hands. In my childhood world, a man’s hands should be so marked.

It is a pity that computer keyboards yield no dirt.

I think my parents’ relationship with even the mechanical world was shaped by their childhood on farms. I know that my father began working in the cotton fields by age 4. Poverty was the taskmaster of his family. Everyone had to pull some weight. My mother was one of 12 children, all of whom took their turns in the fields and kitchen. Even in our tiny suburban home, the kitchen was crowded with canning and pickling, particularly in later summer and early fall. I have an almost mystical relationship with fruit cake, the final crown of the kitchen season. Its appearance in our southern grocery stores signals for me the approach of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

The month of August has deep associations with harvest themes within certain segments of the Orthodox Church. It is affectionately known as the month of the “Three Saviors” in Russian tradition. They are “Honey Savior” on August 1, a day on which honey is blessed; “Apple Savior” on August 6, when apples are blessed; and the “Nut Feast of the Savior” on August 16 when nuts are blessed. In Greek tradition, August 6 (Transfiguration) is a day on which grapes are blessed. Fragrant herbs are blessed on the Feast of the Dormition (August 15) in many places. There are more agricultural associations on the calendar, often overlooked or forgotten in our urbanized world.

Our present-day culture is often torn between the attraction of an imaginary future in which science and such overcome all illness and disease, and our remembered instinct to love what is “natural,” as we have growing evidence that the artificiality of our modern lives makes us sick.  We will doubtless continue the dance that moves between the two.

My life has largely been lived in urban or suburban environments and my labor has largely been cerebral, emotional, and liturgical. Of course, humans are created to think and feel as much as we are created to work with our hands. The Liturgical life brings all of that together – indeed, it reveals the whole of life as a liturgy (when we learn how to live it).

At one point in my priesthood, I spent Saturday mornings baking bread for the Sunday Liturgy. It’s a kitchen-work but asks for liturgical prayers at the same time. In Orthodoxy, the bread is leavened (it contains yeast). As such, it is alive. In the same manner, we use fermented wine which obtains its alcohol in a similar process. Both the bread and wine are alive. Of course, when you’re baking with a living recipe, things vary from week to week. Measure as carefully as you can and knead in the same manner, but living things have a “mind” of their own. The kitchen liturgy, like the whole of life, is variable.

The Christ who became dirt calls us back to the dirt, to the full truth of our humanity. He was no stranger to machines, even if they were but the first century tools of a Galilean carpenter. Jesus knew callouses. The truth of our humanity is all around us, within us, and within the persons we are with. It is revealed by love and the hard contours of its reality. When Christ feeds us, He gives us bread and wine – His Body and Blood. The Body and Blood on which we feed walked and breathed and bled. We may imagine such things as inconveniences, binding us to the earth with gravity and the sheer weight of our being. However, we were not created for “outer space” – much less for the “inner space” of post-modern abstractions.

On a recent visit at my new home, my two youngest grandsons joined in the dirty work of clearing the back part of our yard. They sweated and groaned. One was bitten by ants and screamed. They now have a bond with my new home that no amount of screen time within its walls could create. They left more human than when they came – and left me more human as well.

We are all farmers and mechanics, carpenters and crucified. Lovers and beloved, eaters of bread and diggers of earth.

Glory to God.

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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9 responses to “The Hands of My Father”

  1. JOAN KAKASCIK Avatar
    JOAN KAKASCIK

    Your letters are a morning blessing to me. Please consider publishing them. As you describe “The Hands of My Father,” I recall my father’s hands worn and dirtied by factory work in the rubber industry. I recall my mother with her mother and sisters canning fruit, making pierogi for all of our families. Mom would sing songs from the liturgy while working around the house. Now I am beginning to really realize how I lived the harmony of the Liturgy in our family life.

  2. Claudia Avatar
    Claudia

    Thank you for your writings. This is precious.

    When our grandchildren help us cut and stack wood, explore our property, and help with a few minor tasks in our big garden during their visits, it demonstrates to me that we need to strive to keep ourselves healthy and strong for THEM! As we age, we slow down a bit in our daily routine, but it is so worth keeping this place going for their sakes as much as ours.

  3. Fr. Ronald Hatton Avatar
    Fr. Ronald Hatton

    Very powerful, Father. You also brought up memories of my parents, and you and I being around the same age, the memories are from the same era. My dad was and airplane mechanic. His hands were big and rough and the Lifebuoy only took away some of the grime that was ever-present on his hands. I too am a priest, and far removed from my parents’ lives. I was able to trade the work of a mechanic and the canning and daily food preparation for my hands being used to take the bread that I make for Liturgy and preparing the Gifts and invoking the Holy Spirit to descend on them and “make this bread…” and “that which is in this chalice…” the Body and Blood of Christ for my parishioners to partake of. I thank God for my parents and who they were, and for the big, rough hands of my dad and the small, always busy hands of my mom.

  4. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Fr. Stephen wrote:

    “The Christ who became dirt calls us back to the dirt, to the full truth of our humanity.”

    If the purpose and meaning of life is to be transformed into one´s true humanity through union with God … what should that look like? Dirty feet and dirty hands with callouses … OR … something healthy and new reminiscent of resurrection?

    What does true humanity really look like?

  5. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    True humanity – the Risen Christ (eating fish and also with holes in his hands, feet, and sides). In the meantime, it looks like loving everyone and everything around us.

  6. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    So … all our scars remain too? What about healing?

  7. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    There’s certainly a transformation in the scars of Christ risen body. They may indeed be seen as marks of His glory. How the “scars” of our lives will be presented in glory is God’s own mystery. As St. Paul says, “We shall all be changed.” You’ll really like it.

  8. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Fr. Stephen said:

    “You’ll really like it.”

    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  9. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Fr. Ronald, et al
    I can’t say that I had many profound conversations with either of my parents – they weren’t philosophers. Their priest (they became Orthodox at age 79) later said to me, “Your mother was a mystic and your father had the gift of tears.” He may have known them (in an adult-to-adult way) far better than I did. But I remember my father’s hands. I see his eyes and face looking back at me from my bathroom mirror…Their priest (whom I now serve with in my retirement) said to me recently, “Sometimes I feel like I’m concelebrating with your father…” I haven’t asked him to explain that, but I suspect there’s more truth to it than I can understand.

    The generations have not passed away. They not only abide in heaven with Christ, but within and beside us here and now. My earliest memory of my father’s mother (“Granny”) is of her hands – chapped, raw – tying my shoes and teaching me to tie them – with her soothing voice as accompaniment.

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Latest Comments

  1. Fr. Stephen said: “You’ll really like it.” 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  2. Matthew, There’s certainly a transformation in the scars of Christ risen body. They may indeed be seen as marks of…

  3. Matthew, True humanity – the Risen Christ (eating fish and also with holes in his hands, feet, and sides). In…


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