The Sacrament of Humility – Part One

Some things are so obvious that you cannot see them. Their powers of invisibility do not lie so much within themselves as within those who cannot see them. We are hard-wired for danger, our eyes attuned to threats. We overlook the power of weakness and the vulnerability of humility – the queen and fount of all the virtues. And yet, we are surrounded by humility – it is the default position of creation itself.

The earth waits patiently for each season’s changes, even patient for the passage of eons, enduring storms, drought, ice ages, and the occasional crash of an asteroid. Christ says this:

“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”

It is an example given to us of a virtue. It is also a virtue that can easily be mistaken for passivity. In the same passage, Christ tells us to “take no thought for tomorrow.” Our mind quickly protests that tomorrow needs a bit of planning!

Our culture is built on an imaginary foundation of planning and action. We judge civilizations by what they have constructed and the tools and techniques that have been mastered. All the while, the world in which we live goes on as always. The same rain falls (or doesn’t), the same sun shines. The same stars assume their positions in the sky (though, at present, they are harder to see). The lilies still grow and tomorrow still comes whether we take thought or not. And the larger part of our lives operates in the same manner.

There is a beloved prayer attributed to the Elders of Optina:

O Lord, grant that I may meet all that this coming day brings to me with spiritual tranquility. Grant that I may fully surrender myself to Thy holy Will.

At every hour of this day, direct and support me in all things. Whatsoever news may reach me in the course of the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and the firm conviction that all is subject to Thy holy Will.

Direct my thoughts and feelings in all my words and actions. In all unexpected occurrences, do not let me forget that all is sent down from Thee.

Grant that I may deal straightforwardly and wisely with every member of my family, neither embarrassing nor saddening anyone.

O Lord, grant me the strength to endure the fatigue of the coming day and all the events that take place during it. Direct my will and teach me to pray, to believe, to hope, to be patient, to forgive, and to love. Amen.

I first encountered this prayer during a very tumultuous period in my life. There were various turmoils, and frightful decisions to be made. The potential consequences of so many things threatened to leave me paralyzed. It was hard just to remember to breathe.

The prayer became of fulcrum of faith, a point at which to meet the day. It was, first of all, a struggle to accept what the prayer itself was suggesting. My mind was stuck in cause-and-effect. “All is sent down from Thee,” seemed unreconcilable with a good God. And yet, something in my gut told me that it was true – gut and head can be very different things.

It would be rather tedious to describe the movements of my heart in that time of troubles. However, I took the prayer as a lodestone and allowed my heart to move in that direction. The strongest images within that process were the story of the Three Young Men in the Fiery Furnace and the story of Joseph in Egypt. In both, terrible things happen (if being sold as a slave or roasted alive in a furnace count). Joseph later says, “You meant it to me for evil, but the Lord meant it to me for good.” The Three Young Men sing perhaps the greatest hymn of praise found in the Scriptures – while the fire roars around them.

In both stories, humility is key.

The Lord who taught us to take no thought for the morrow is the same Lord who was arrested, tortured, and crucified unjustly. It is the same Lord who was vilified and slandered in response to His giving sight to the blind and making the lame to walk. Whatever we may say about the injustice and pain of our own lives, we cannot claim that Christ is a stranger to it. The Incarnation reveals His presence precisely in such places.

And, following His example, we can say, “Whatsoever news may reach me in the course of the day, teach me to accept it with a calm soul and the firm conviction that all is subject to Thy holy Will.”

Our existence and the existence of all things are a work of grace. But the stories that reveal this to us are frequently filled with suffering and sorrow. To confess that “all is subject to Thy holy Will” is also to acknowledge that the will of God takes the shape of Pascha. And in the story of Pascha (as it is relived in our lives) we are characters who take up the Cross.

The mystery of the Cross is expressed in Hebrews:

“…looking to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Heb. 12:2)

The prayer focuses on what seems mundane: the fatigue of the coming day, the news that may reach me, unexpected occurrences. In my experience, it is just such things that “try men’s souls.” Any of us who have struggled with such things also know the shameful failure involved in “embarrassing and saddening” family members.

The virtue of humility is best captured by our willingness to receive with thanksgiving those things (of whatever size) that come our way. It is the joy of a tree to receive water, sun, the ground beneath its roots. It is our joy to receive even the fatigue of the coming day. In a culture that is utterly fascinated with the abilities of our species to manage and control outcomes, humility is all too rare. In my experience, it is most commonly found among the poor, the sick – in short, all those who know that management and control are not their lot in life. Strangely, they are likely to have more joy than all of the managers in our midst.

Glory to God.

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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Comments

43 responses to “The Sacrament of Humility – Part One”

  1. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Thank you Fr. Stephen, I so needed to read these encouraging words today.

  2. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Margaret,
    I had more thoughts on this that I just couldn’t seem to get into the text of the article. One of those is the notion of humility as a sacrament (hence the title of the piece). The “givenness” of life – of our days (including their fatigue) – is itself a sacrament – something holding and making present to us the grace of God. The simple encouragements within the prayer – to accept the day and all that it brings – is an encouragement to taste the Cup of Salvation.

  3. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    …and yet, Father, Joy also comes upon us unawares in the middle of managing does it not? An unsought blessing that is simple Grace. Sometimes moments here and there to buoy us up; other times a more extended blessing after a simple repentance. Many other ways and times. It seems to be in the fabric of Creation available at any moment if we are not too distracted. “This is the day the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad
    in it”! Even in the midst of pain and struggle. Lord have mercy. Am I wrong?

  4. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michael,
    The goodness of God has no limits.

  5. Janine Avatar
    Janine

    Dear Fr Stephen,
    Yesterday I met someone whose story set me back, and reminded me that whatever might be hard in my life, by comparison someone else is going through some thing so much harder. His son has an exceptionally rare form of cancer, the family has to move to be near what is the only treatment, and even that is experimental. All of this was indeed a shocking surprise to them when their child finished high school, as they were about to move to a place they had dreamed of living. Of course I put them in my daily prayers but it is heart-breaking. And this man also was very helpful to me in solving a problem I had, a blessing. I don’t know the answer except I do believe he came into my life and shared his story for a reason.

    I keep thinking Christ suffered with us and maybe we are meant to suffer with others although of course I cannot experience his pain at his suffering child.

    I think whatever we can say, you write about such a profound mystery. Maybe the most profound we have, and surely there is sacrament there. I sure don’t have the answers. Thank you again for another profound article.

  6. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Janine,
    It is a great mystery. Sometimes we are with Christ on the Cross. Sometimes we are with the Theotokos as she grieves her Son. Sometimes we stand by both the Cross and the Theotokos. Christ cried out. Mary wept. John kept silence. May God give us grace wherever we stand.

  7. KS Avatar
    KS

    Many thanks for these thoughts. I say a version of this prayer every morning and then go about my day as if I ran the show, but the background conviction that I am not in control is comforting.
    We are asked, I think, both to lead vigorous, dynamic lives (to make something of our talents) and to not forget that “all is sent down from Thee” for our salvation. It’s difficult but necessary, I think.

  8. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    KS,
    For what it’s worth – I think the “talent” God has given us is the grace that makes it possible to love. It’s not the stuff of careers and such, but the frightful risk of love. It is this above all that we should not bury.

  9. Carol A Landrua Avatar
    Carol A Landrua

    Thank you Fr. Stephen! This is the first time for me to comment, but I have read your articles for years. I even visited your church once awhile ago.
    I am challenged and encouraged by what you write and by the responses of others.
    Pray for me. God bless all ya’ll!

  10. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Carol,
    Thank you! Please keep me in your prayers.

  11. Elizabeth Frangoudis Avatar
    Elizabeth Frangoudis

    Thank you Fr Stephen for your wisdom and guidance. May God Bless you and your family 🙏

  12. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Elizabeth,
    Thank you!

  13. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    “…possible to love…”. Is that a talent we are given or is it simply that we are able to step aside and offer up so that our Lord Jesus, in His merciful condescension, loves through us as an act of communion?

    Personally I have never found a talent of my own, though I do not doubt some have it.

  14. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    A wonderful article, Father. And one that, like others, definitely touches where I am today (just this morning, someone at work and I are discussing how disheartening things are…).

    I hope and pray you will write a sister article on Humility as Sacrament, if you are able. By God’s grace….

  15. Catherine Avatar
    Catherine

    Once again, thank you, Father. Your message really hits home. I had forgotten the prayer you quote in your article. It is particularly apropos for my life right now.
    Since the beginning of March, my husband has been in hospice at home and I am his primary caregiver. It is a day to day sometimes hour to hour life and can be very isolating.
    I will incorporate the prayer into my daily life and reread your article to remind myself that everything is sent from God for our salvation especially on the difficult, very tiring days.
    May God bless you and those you love always.

  16. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Byron,
    I am setting to work on it later today…

  17. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Catherine,
    My prayers for you and your husband! I spent two years of my ministry serving as a hospice chaplain for a home hospice here in the mountains of East Tennessee. I was probably two of the best ministry-years of my life. It is difficult on both the emotional and practical level – especially for the caregiver. It is, in my experience, a time in which heaven/paradise is drawing especially close. God give you grace in your serving of your husband – may the angels surround you and assist you.

    It is the Lord’s Pascha.

  18. Catherine Avatar
    Catherine

    Thank you, Father

  19. Janine Avatar
    Janine

    PS Father, I would really like to understand more about God’s will. We don’t say that God wills disasters and hardships, we say that God loves us. So I need to understand how Orthodoxy views the ways that things are allowed to happen/ what God wills to happen, etc. I suppose there is a distinction between permitting and willing. I even understand how our own sin can return in certain ways, kind of like violating a law of nature, and surely these have been learning curves for me and I do see events in my life that way which I can trace to my own failure to follow through with what I believed God asked of me. At any rate, I hope you will expand more.

  20. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Janine,
    First off – we have very poor language to work with it speaking about God’s will. In our minds, we tend to think He wills it – it happens. And that creates all kinds of problems – everything from the world being a puppet show to God as the cause of evil, etc.

    What we say of God’s will – in its purest sense – is that God wills us and all of creation only good.

    We also have to say that evil things happen to us – and to creation as well. We do not describe God as the source of evil. Classically, we would speak of what God “permits.” And that’s its own knotty statement.

    When I hear (or write) the statement: “all is subject to God’s holy Will,” I am not saying that God makes each and all things happen, but that His good will is the ultimate and last word. What the world (or anything in it) might mean to me for evil, God means to me for good. It is His Pascha.

  21. Drewster2000 Avatar
    Drewster2000

    Janine,

    I agree with Fr. Stephen: “I am not saying that God makes each and all things happen, but that His good will is the ultimate and last word.” So it’s a mystery – but true nonetheless.

    One way I’ve learned to think about it is that I am His child and need to innocently take Him at His word as a child would. If He says He works all things together for good in my life, I need to simply believe Him.

    That means me not getting into the God/manager seat. I just trust Him. This attitude stops me (it takes practice) from asking questions about how this can happen, how it can possibly used for good, and why —–

    I come to a place (on my best days) that I receive anything which comes my way with acceptance. I don’t understand, but here it is. God, please help to look at it through your eyes and respond to it the way you would.

    No matter how unjust it might look from the outside, taking that stance puts me in a much better place, preserves the peace He has put inside me, and allows me to engage the situation in a way that leads to growth, experience, opportunities, grace, humility and so many other good things.

  22. Janine Avatar
    Janine

    Dear Fr Stephen and Drewster,
    Thank you both so much for your insightful replies. I have to agree that all is true that you write. It becomes hard to reconcile sad or aggrieved feelings with the confidence that God has a way through for ultimate good, but I do believe even from experience that God has hidden gems for us even if no one else can see it like that, and these may be intangible. I have also learned that big things can take a very long time to work out. So I humility would include more patience than I normally have! But I do believe that “all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose”

  23. Sophie Keye Avatar

    This was so beautiful.

    Thank you!

  24. Michael Taylor Avatar
    Michael Taylor

    Thank you for this. The prayer of the Elders of Optina felt remarkably relevant to me today, and it gave me hope.

  25. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Dear Father,
    Just as you say, humility is key. Thank you for this beautiful article. It is very timely for me as well and provides me with some very interesting Providential support.

    Someone in my sphere mentioned “research as ceremony”. This said in the context of Indigenous ways of knowledge. In my heart I rephrased these words as “research as sacrament”. Then I asked myself how would this work out in my daily affairs? Your article provided the answer. Again thank you dear father.

  26. Andrew Avatar
    Andrew

    Thank you Father. Your posts are often for me the equivalent of taking a deep breath and “coming to myself” again. I’m grateful for the continued reminders of the simple, the humble an the true things. Fr. Gabriel at Holy Cross Monastery wrote a piece on his blog titled “Remembrance and the Spiritual Life” a few years ago where he said,

    “I have often thought that, in many ways, the spiritual life comes down simply to remembering the things that we know — and yet so often forget.”

    Your posts often serve as that much needed reminder for me. On the subject of carrying our cross, I’ve been reflecting on this quote I recently encountered from Fr. Constantin Galeriu (a priest who survived the terrible gulags in Communist Romania)

    “Before He gave you your cross to bear, God looked at it with His most beautiful eyes, examined it with His divine reason, checked it with His right hand, warmed it in His heart full of love, and weighed it with His hands full of affection, so that it wouldn’t be heavier than you could bear. And, after He measured your courage, He blessed your cross and put it on your shoulders. So you are able to carry it! Hold on tightly to it and climb Golgotha to the Resurrection!”

  27. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Dee, what a wonderful discovery! So much of what we do as human beings can be/is sacramental. My mother, a dancer, had a deep sense. 50 years ago at a dance symposia my mother created, the Caribbean actor/dancer/voice artist took stage and in is musical voice said: “I have seen God, baby! And He is right here {pointing to his physical center} and ever time He wants to talk to me, He starts my body moving!”. He then went into some of the most beautiful and evocative character dances: evoking Carribean people he new growing up in Jamaica. Gorgeous. Deeply human and of the Spirit too.

  28. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Indeed Michael! Thank you for your story!

  29. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    “We overlook the power of weakness and the vulnerability of humility – the queen and fount of all the virtues. And yet, we are surrounded by humility – it is the default position of creation itself”

    Father, is your thought that I quote above related to this thought of St Paul’s ?

    Romans 8:20
    “For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope”

  30. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    The dancer’s name was Geoffrey Holder. He starred on Broadway in the musical “The Wiz” but his 7 Up commercials as the “Uncola Man” gave him the most recognition. He gave a sense of something more and joy even in those.

  31. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    It could be tied to that. Creation “groans” – but I believe it to be inherently patient – it “waits in hope.”

  32. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Romans 5: 3-5 seems to address the question but I cannot copy the text over on my phone.

  33. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Romans 5:3, 5 KJV
    [3] And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;
    [5] and hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

    https://bible.com/bible/1/rom.5.3-5.KJV

  34. Ferial Avatar
    Ferial

    Dear Fr Stephen,
    You said, in addressing KS above, that the “talent” God has given us is the grace that makes it possible to love.
    This is an eye-opener. Thank you for saying it. So many times I tend to bury this talent, and then I am surprised at the lack of empathy and compassion in me towards some people. This needs to be tackled ASAP in my life. Thank you so much for opening this skylight for me, as you have done so many times since I started reading your blog many many years ago.
    May God keep you and yours for many years!

  35. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Ferial,
    Thank you!

  36. Cathy Avatar
    Cathy

    As always your words provide comfort and direction. Thought you might like this prayer that has helped me through some rough times. God Bless You!

    The Prayer of Surrender by Father Walter Ciszek, SJ

    Lord, Jesus Christ, I ask the grace to accept the sadness in my heart, as your will for me, in this moment. I offer it up, in union with your sufferings, for those who are in deepest need of your redeeming grace. I surrender myself to your Father’s will and I ask you to help me to move on to the next task that you have set for me.

    Spirit of Christ, help me to enter into a deeper union with you. Lead me away from dwelling on the hurt I feel:

    to thoughts of charity for those who need my love,

    to thoughts of compassion for those who need my care,

    and to thoughts of giving to those who need my help.

    As I give myself to you, help me to provide for the salvation of those who come to me in need.

    May I find my healing in this giving.

    May I always accept God’s will.

    May I find my true self by living for others in a spirit of sacrifice and suffering.

    May I die more fully to myself, and live more fully in you.

    As I seek to surrender to the Father’s will, may I come to trust that he will do everything for me.

  37. Michael Avatar
    Michael

    Thank you father Stephen,

    I have recently experienced a break in a friendship with another Christian which has deeply saddened me. It has been so hard to stop the ongoing conversations in my head and to come back to trusting God in the midst of my grief.

    I was really struggling to understand God’s will in this and this post and the comments that followed have been really helpful. While I know that it is ultimately God’s good will that we be reconciled, for the time being it is not happening and perhaps it may never happen in this life. I have to understand that it’s not because God is limited but that he allows for the will of the other party in the situation.

    I have to remember that God does care and is at work even if I don’t understand and that believing this isn’t like fatalism. I am learning to say “I trust you God” in the midst of my tears which have been many. God’s ways are beyond finding out so it is useless to try to figure out what God is doing. Unless he reveals it, I won’t be able to figure it out. My job is to trust and cleave to God. (much easier said than done right now but with God all things are possible).

  38. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michael,
    Such things are indeed difficult. May God give you grace!

  39. Mark Spurlock Avatar
    Mark Spurlock

    Michael,

    In my family close relations have gone more than a decade without speaking to one another…and then reconciled without fanfare over a cup of coffee at Waffle House.

    I recently had a few-week estrangement from a relative whom I had known since his birth over a short, misunderstood exchange of texts. At the time, it seemed like some major rift, but I (at least) was determined, if so, it would not be because of anything within my power to avoid. The welfare of that other person is more important to me than was the point of disagreement.

    If we are to love our enemies, we more so must love one another (i.e., other Christians). It is true that both parties in a disagreement have free will, and you cannot mend the breach alone. Nevertheless, God seeks reconciliation with us, even when we are in sin. Christ suffers crucifixion, while innocent.

    In other words, if we admit we are wrong to heal a relationship, that is not true forgiveness. For those we love, we show mercy–sometimes forgiving them regardless of who is right and wrong.

    You are a lover of drama and plays, so, rather than cite scripture or one of the Fathers, I’ll cite Portia’s speech to Shylock: “In the course of justice, none of us should see salvation.”

    Portia is likewise right in my experience: “[Mercy] blesseth him that gives and him that takes.”

  40. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mark,
    You commented to Michael,

    “You are a lover of drama and plays, so, rather than cite scripture or one of the Fathers, I’ll cite Portia’s speech to Shylock: “In the course of justice, none of us should see salvation.”

    I think you have Michael Bauman in mind (who loves to quote Shakespeare), but this is a different Michael. Thought I’d clear up any confusion.

  41. Mark Spurlock Avatar
    Mark Spurlock

    Father Stephen,

    You are right, of course. So sorry for the confusing the two!

  42. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    https://poets.org/poem/merchant-venice-act-iv-scene-i-quality-mercy-not-strained

    Mark, one must consider the whole context of your quote which, IMO, challenges each of us to work hard to have a merciful heart toward each other.

    Now, following the spiritual path of Holy Orthodoxy allows us to enter and share His Mercy. I have seen evidence of His Mercy in my life so many times that I would not have known except through the Church.
    “It is twice blessed. It blesses those that give and those that receive.”

    Thank you for the reminder.

  43. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Shakespeare also dealt with the company consequences of the lack of mercy in Romeo and Juliet. The Prince, standing over the bodies of the two lovers with the grieving fathers close at hand says: “Montague, Capulet see what a scourge is laid upon your hate that heaven doth find means to kill thy joys with love; and I for winking at your discords have lost a brace of kinsmen. All are punished.”

    The play makes clear to the devastating consequences of hate and unforgiveness which is not emphasized in most productions.

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