Playing with God

There are things that children understand instinctively. And the things that children know and understand are worth consideration. They have much to teach us.

Among the most natural things children do is play. Depending on how you define play, it is among the first activities in which we engage. It comes to dominate the lives of children and is the hallmark of their existence. Play is what children do.

It is quite interesting to read discussions about the theory of play. Why do children do it?  Developmental theorists (Piaget most famously) see play as essential for children’s growth and maturation. My own observation of these theories is their drive to discover some utility for play. All of their explanations seek to find a purpose for play beyond itself. Children play in order to do or become something else.

All of us as adults probably remember the end of childhood. Play became less and less possible as school and more “serious” activities became more demanding. Most adults have not lost their capacity for play. But they have little time for it and frequently consider it a luxury, even a frivolous waste of time.

I would like to suggest quite the opposite. Play is among the most essential of human activities and is extremely important in our relationship with God.

We were created for play because God Himself likes to play.

This last statement will (obviously) require some support. I will get to that later in the article. But first, we return to children.

What are children doing when they play? Clearly they are “having fun,” but their “fun” can often be quite serious. Play frequently has rules – indeed no football fan is more insisting on correct observance of the rules than a child at play.

But what is a child doing?

In simple, straightforward terms, a child at play is a child engaging in ritual activities. Rituals have rules, meaning, purpose, even repetition. It is not childish – it is merely human.

I first began to think about this as I watched children in Church. Unlike the nervous self-consciousness of Orthodox inquirers, children take to the ritual life of the Church as though they were born to it. They understand kissing icons, bowing, censing, pretty much the whole of a Divine Liturgy, without so much as a question (for they seem to understand it long before they are capable of speech).

Unlike most adult activities (particularly modern adult activities) ritual is not driven so much by word as by action. Its words themselves are ritualized (not unlike a children’s rhyme). And the actions often speak for themselves.

Many priests have noticed in their parishes young children who “play Church.” I have seen children (including a grandson) grab a small toy at the end of a string, begin to swing it and “cense.” I have served liturgies where a young child has brought his own censer to the service so he can “cense along.” Worried mothers have sometimes asked, “Is this ok?” I not only think it’s ok. I’m flattered and welcome the company.

In our Cathedral in Dallas (I was once told) there was a teenage boy who was mentally handicapped, who would go up on the solea when the bishop was censing, and swing his own “play” censer. A number of the parishioners were alarmed, but Archbishop Dmitri (of blessed memory) assured them that everything was fine. Vladyka’s story about this gave me the assurance to be patient with children myself.

It is adults who do not understand liturgy and ritual. Some adults, having lost their true humanity, even use phrases such as “empty ritual.” Like many other enemies of tradition, they eradicate all the truly human pursuits in the name of “higher” rational activities, invented only in the last few hundred years.

Play is a primary form of human learning, an activity in which we engage in the patterning required in our lives. Like the early babbling of a child by which they slowly learn to replicate the sounds of the adults around them, play establishes the same thing for other activities. And this form of learning apparently extends to things divine.

Those who utter phrases such as “empty ritual” (something I’ve heard all my life) forget that it is God who first gave ritual to the people of Israel. This primary story about the faith runs counter to modern intuitions. For we presume that real things and true things are in the mind. It is thought and sentiment that we consider to hold the lofty place of the holy. But it is ritual that is given this place in the Scriptures.

In the later chapters of Exodus, we are told of Moses’ 40 days on the mountain in the presence of the Lord. During that time he is shown “the pattern” of all the furnishings of the Tabernacle. He is given the “pattern” of worship as well – the ritual of Israel. Christian understanding from the New Testament forward has always seen these patterns as a foreshadowing of Christ and His Pascha. The gospel was hidden in the patterns given to Moses.

I will stretch this a bit and suggest that God taught Moses how to “play Pascha.” For, like a child whose games foreshadow its later life (dolls, playing house, etc.), so the rituals of Israel foreshadowed the mystery of the Kingdom revealed in the death and resurrection of Christ.

The foreshadowing is nothing new – it is my suggestion that we place this in the category of “play” that might seem shocking. This is because we imagine “play” to be somehow of little value, a diminutive activity that reduces the importance of its subject. But this is a deep distortion of play. As the primary focus of children, play is among the most important of all human activities. We do not disparage the importance of a child’s learning to walk. Play is just as essential – and perhaps for a greater purpose than learning.

The activity of play is falsely seen as the sole province of children. Human beings never cease to play. And though modern culture sees play as frivolous and even wasteful (productivity of things is given the highest value), we nevertheless devote a significant amount of money to play.

Not all play is equal, of course. Some play is frivolous, or even destructive of our humanity. Much of the play in our meaning-starved culture is a thin substitute for the authentic rituals of faith. It is not absurd when people observe the near religious status of public sport in many areas of the world. Such games seek to fill a deep religious need in the heart of modern culture. That they fall so far short of true transcendence, failing even to rise to the nobility of the game being played, is simply part of the tragedy of the modern world.

But the “game” of the Divine Liturgy is something else. There, the presence of God is so profound that we hesitate to use the word “game” to describe the ritual play of the service. But we are indeed children, who, though having transcended the revelation given on Mt. Sinai, nevertheless continue to point beyond ourselves towards something that is mystically made present in the ritual action of the Eucharistic assembly.

St. Paul notes:

When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. (1Co 13:11-12)

The maturity to which he refers, when childish things are at last put away, is not a phenomenon of this age – it belongs to the age to come when “we shall know just as we are known.” But in this age, we continue as children, playing at Pascha, until Pascha itself swallows us into the complete maturity of our humanity.

 

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America, Pastor Emeritus of St. Anne Orthodox Church in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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31 responses to “Playing with God”

  1. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Father,
    This is a good article for teaching us how to embrace humility in a positive way and see the beauty and depth of meaning in ritual activity.

    Another thing that children do in their play is explore. I remember my young son, as a toddler, wanting to walk away from me in the park. He would go a distance and then turn around to see me and possibly to know whether I would follow (I tended to do this in public spaces). He took a lot of joy in this activity. We also experience this joy as adults when we learn that we are never far from God. Christ is with us. Always.

    I am grateful for the scriptures (Psalms, among others) that remind us of this. I believe it helps to read them as a daily ritual, as I was taught to do.

  2. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Also, I love the beautiful expression on the child’s face as he leans his head on the icons of Christ and the Theotokos. Joy. All joy.

  3. Becka Newell Avatar
    Becka Newell

    Hello Father, I’m coming out of lurking mode as playing is one of my favourite things, both as a creative playful person, & as someone whose professional work with children & young people has meant that I have deliberately created spaces for them to be playful & learn about life on this way. I see play as a way to explore & try out all sorts of things, to practically figure out how things (ie interpersonal communication) work & what they are. But it can only happen if there is safety in terms of trial & error, & freedom to fail (within reason) & make mistakes without it being the end of the world. I think it’s why we learn so well this way, when our brains are safe we don’t use energy on defence, but on what is in front of us.
    My question is how we get to be playful, which requires a buffer zone of allowed imperfection & mistake making, in a world where God is a perfect moral being, & for us to fail at something is a falling short of this & sinning? It’s like two different modes of being, in a world that was meant to be without flaw, morally speaking, & yet so many parts of human development, including play, require the safety of a level of mistake making.
    I’m not sure if I’m making any sense, as usual, but do you see what I mean? What am I missing here?

  4. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    Yes. It is a picture of one of my grandsons (some years back – he’s 8 now) in the Narthex at St. Anne (I built the small icon stand so children could venerate more easily).

  5. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Becka,
    God as “perfect moral being” – is, I think, too restrictive a description. Liturgy is not restrictive, per se, though there are things we are directed to do. When I was first ordained as an Orthodox priest, I made any number of mistakes at every liturgy (long story, that). Every Sunday, I’d come home, get out my serving notes, review the day’s service in my mind and wince. I was talking with an older priest one day and told him about my experience. He smiled. “Every priest is allowed seven mistakes per liturgy,” he said with a smile. I laughed and gradually managed to get my liturgy below the alloted number.

    There’s not really an alloted number – and certainly not for the laity. We serve (and no one serves “perfectly” – it’s not the point). A “perfectly served liturgy” could only be measured by the heart and God alone can do such a thing.

    Christ said, “At the end of the day, say, ‘We are, at best, unprofitable servants.’” (Lk 17:10). Watching a child play with a toy, we are not moved to correct them. There’s not a “wrong” way to play. By the same token, the “wrong” things in a liturgy are not the ritual or the words – it is the heart. Indeed, some who watch and inwardly criticize the poor performance of a choir or a priest are the true problems within the Liturgy. These are the failures.

    We all get a buffer zone for our failures as we confess ourselves to be “sinners, of whom I am first.” God gives us plenty of room.

  6. Georgina Alexandruk Avatar
    Georgina Alexandruk

    Thank you for this. As a retired elementary school teacher, I know the importance of play for children. Making a science experiment “playful”, or a math lesson with singing, or taking time for a short game at the end of the day was an essential part of teaching and learning. School needs to be a joyful place at least part of the time. Thanks to your article I have a better understanding of why I thought “play” was so important in school.
    As a senior citizen, I know I am feeling well when I have fun whether it is telling jokes and funny stories with friends or watching something humorous. In other words, play and fun are important at all ages.
    I wish more people would smile when they attend church and greet their fellow worshippers. The Divine Liturgy is beautiful and should be regarded with joy. Sometimes even the greeters don’t look particularly happy as they stand in the narthex awaiting the people. It’s a though they don’t know that loving God means being joyful.
    This probably is somewhat rambling but the your article hit home for me.
    Have fun like a child.

  7. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Becka, I would add that Jesus took on us with the possibility of sin, but did not. He is fully human.
    When He comes to us, He knows our sin better than we do but forgives the it all, again and again if I take it back. Joy in the midst of my darkness has always been my experience.
    The Joy is not an emotion, but a transforming extension of who He is. I often find it difficult to bear because of the hardness of my heart.

    The first time I walked into an Orthodox about 36 years ago; looked up at the icon ‘More Spacious Than the Heavens’ and was warmly greeted by the blessed Mother in an ineffable, friendly way to worship her Son.

    I have begun to actually worship in humility and joyful expectation of what I am participating in. Then our Priests and Deacon come out to give us the Body and Blood.

    Often they have a somber but cheerful joy about them. A true mystery.

  8. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Father,
    Looking at him in this picture, I bet he is an adorable child!

  9. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    He appears in my photos, from time to time. He’s a joy – as are all the rest! (there are 5 grands, total)

  10. christa maria dolejsi Avatar
    christa maria dolejsi

    Does the Icon have a name? Where is it from?

  11. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    I’m certain that it does, though it’s been so long since I acquired it…my memory fails.

  12. Becka Newell Avatar
    Becka Newell

    Thank you for having a stab at this one, Father & others.
    I’m still not getting it so please pray for wisdom. There’s all sorts of things currently where I look at the faith where it looks like humanity can’t help but fail morally, & that looks unfair. I’m not sure how to love this God.

  13. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Becka,
    That sounds like a painful difficulty. It would be of use if you would describe a specific example. I do not think of God as looking for moral perfection within us – for us to “get it right.” Instead, I see Him as working in all things to heal us, to make us whole, so that we can love one another and love Him as well. But the question, “How to love this God,” is very significant and important.

    Be blessed!

  14. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Becka,
    I continue to condsider your comment this morning. We often have various “lenses” through which we view God. Not all of those lenses are helpful. My experience of people or figures who act in the role of “moral perfection” (despite their own failures) is one that mostly makes me deeply aware of my own moral failures – or the impossibility of “getting it right.” At times, such a thought can be utterly paralyzing. If applied to God, the question becomes, “Am I thinking about the God who truly is? or am I thinking about my own paralysis (or other dark things)?” Depending on our life experience (especially the wounds that have shaped our psyches) these thoughts can be truly daunting.

    To deal with this, I frequently bring my thoughts back to the Jesus whom I see in the gospels. I think, for example, of the woman taken in adultery (clearly a “moral failing”). But I see the mercy and compassion of Jesus who shields her and protects her from the judgments of others. I can see that He is “on her side” – regardless of any moral failure. I see in Him a compassion for us all and a willingness to enter into the deepest parts of our suffering. He does not stand over us demanding that we “get it right.” He stands with us, lifting us up when we fall. Carrying His Cross, He stumbled and Simon the Cyrenian helped Him carry a weight that was too great for His tortured body. Such thoughts help me banish the images that would persecute me.

    God give us grace in all of our thoughts of Him.

  15. Owen Kelly Avatar
    Owen Kelly

    Becka,
    I appreciate your question and have struggled with a similar one. Mine, basically, was this: Do we ultimately live in a safe world or not? I think we do. I reached this conclusion, partly, because I believe there are certain ultimate eventualities that are just too much for finite creatures to bear. Life is short. We are born into contexts with influences beyond our control. Our individual capacities for learning vary greatly. Etc. God takes all this into account and judges accordingly. But I also believe that God is infinitely patient with us in His judgments.

    Does He eventually give up on His creatures? As a loving Father, would he allow His children, so lacking in wisdom and grace, to stumble off an irredeemable cliff?

    We suffer pain when we go astray. And rightly so. It hurts like the devil – but this too is God’s mercy. He always, always disciplines us for our good, for our purification and enlightenment. As Jesus says, “all will be salted with fire.” We will be refined, but we will not be snatched out of His hand nor separated from His love. God made this world; His strong arm will not be defeated. Thus, we have the existential freedom to breathe easy and play! All “within reason,” as you pointed out, for the way of the sinner is hard. But God’s infinite patience is not absent from that hard way either. Indeed, it is particularly present.

    In an ultimate sense, then, we are safe because God is good, and God is always with us – especially when correcting our moral stumbling for the purpose of our salvation.

    These are my personal views, Becka, and I do not speak officially for the Church or its teaching. I agree with all of Fr. Stephen’s replies to you above.

  16. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Becka,
    I agree with Owen and Father Stephen fully.
    My besetting sins work quite hard to make me doubt His Mercy(the darkness of sin has a consciousness behind it). Or maybe more as a virus.
    Mt 4:17: Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand; has to become a focal point for my spiritual warfare. Asking for His Mercy in all things.
    I find it comes, often in unexpected ways. The battle still goes on however. In the Sacraments of the Church and the presence of the saints and angels gathered, I know I am not alone.
    It has only taken me 38 years to begin to realize that. A lot of pain and disappointment along the way, but God is with us!

  17. Owen Kelly Avatar
    Owen Kelly

    Michael,
    Thank you for the statement about, “not being alone.” I couldn’t agree more fully.

  18. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Owen, maybe Fr. Stephen has written a piece on the community of worship that takes place in celebrating the Holy Sacraments.

    Hopefully with emphasis on, while important, our personal and family prayers and devotions compliment the Sacraments but do not replace them.

  19. Mark Spurlock Avatar
    Mark Spurlock

    christa,

    If I’m not mistaken, it is the Virgin of Vladimir (Vladimirska) icon.

    I acquired that icon this past Lent, and the version I have is more “aged,” but it looks the same otherwise.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_of_Vladimir

  20. Mark Williams Avatar
    Mark Williams

    Another thoughtful article Father, thank you. I am coming to these articles as an Anglican evangelical seeking to learn more about Orthodoxy and so please forgive any ignorance. I have been one who is guilty of labelling ritual as empty sometimes when I see a priest ‘playing’ at being holy – going through the deeply meaningful liturgies of the church – but not practicing holiness or authentic Christianity in his life ‘outside’. And it is this disconnect that renders the rituals ‘empty’ for me. Their profundity is somehow trivialised by the lack of integrity in the priest’s life. I am not expecting perfection – none of us are perfect – but surely ritual needs some kind of authenticity on behalf of it’s performers to make it true worship? I think of the rants of the prophets in the Old Testament which criticise the priests for their empty rituals.

  21. Becka Newell Avatar
    Becka Newell

    Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to hijack this thread.
    I’m someone who has been trying to reconstruct some faith in a good & loving God after crashing out of evangelical circles after 20+ years as I couldn’t force myself to love the Reformed God they were ultimately selling. I came out with both religious trauma & some religious OCD because it’s all so important that my brain tries hard to make sure I’m safe in this God’s hands, & more importantly, that my loved ones are.
    I also have the extra handicap of being basically housebound for the last 3 yrs with a relapse of CFS, so I’m alone 99% of the time & can’t get out to take part in normal life.
    I thought initially might be as simple as switching forms of Christianity, but alas there turn out to be things in all of them I find impossible. The example I’d give Father Stephen, is that God has set up a world in which we all – except Jesus & Mary – freely sin, but are not all saved. I don’t understand how we can ALL freely sin without the universe being set up to bring this about. That’s where the perfect moral being, & the need for a buffer zone for human development gets traction for me, the universe seems weighted against human moral success, & thus towards punishment. How can that be loving?
    Sorry for going on, I’m very frustrated that I seem to look at the same things as other people – life, the Bible, Jesus – but don’t see what they see. Jesus does say some scary stuff in the NT.
    So, I’ve prayed for years to know & love the real God, but keep hitting this or similar walls. Not sure what to do, I see a Psychologist but still can’t see God as good & loving, & so am scared by him. It’s really hampering my recovery from this relapse too.
    It’s hard not to think of my lack of success as God being angry with me.

  22. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Becka,
    Thank you so much for sharing – and the vulnerability of speaking about these troubles. I thought perhaps there was OCD involved – I’ve seen it a number of times – and it’s especially a problem if someone has been exposed to the “Reformed God” that you mentioned. Coming through all of this is a very difficult struggle – and it’s not your fault.

    I have wrestled through the years with the question of “will all be saved?” I settled with Met. Kallistos Ware’s answer of, “We may hope so.” That’s not a settled dogma – but a hope rooted in the goodness and love of God. What I believe is that the problem is not within God Himself – but within us – and that the secret of our complete healing is a whisper that I cannot hear as clearly as I’d like. I’ve allowed myself to “not know” some things.

    In my experience, it seems that only love heals us. My questions do not heal me, my anxiety doesn’t heal me. But love is like a balm. You said, “I’ve prayed for years to know and love the real God.” I’ll add my prayers to yours as well. May God give you ways to love Him in this most difficult of circumstances. I know it’s hard.

  23. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mark,
    Hypocrisy is the enemy of us all. Of course, it’s not the ritual that’s empty in such cases, but the priest. As someone who’s been ordained for 44 years, all I can say is that the road is bumpy and has curves, etc. A man sets down the path and, like everyone, has challenges and difficulties in his life. The alarm goes off on Sunday morning and he doesn’t have the luxury of saying, “I don’t feel like praying this morning.” Instead, he serves. I’ve seen “burnout” and other sorts of things in my brothers through the years. I’ve also seen the Liturgy heal me – carry me when I didn’t think I could walk.

    We must pray for one another – pray for those who serve – entrusting our souls to the Good God who loves mankind.

  24. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Becka, may Jesus and His deep love be with you. It is a battle but the real Jesus is always there to come into your heart. Unlike evil, He waits for your call. Frustrating. Been there. So have others here – that is why we responded. You did not “hijack” anything

    At the same time He and His love are never far away. My prayers are with you.

  25. Becka Newell Avatar
    Becka Newell

    Thanks Michael, but I have called, many times. That’s why this is so hard.

  26. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Becka,
    What I can say, as an observer, is that the issues tied up with OCD and the good God is among the most difficult things spiritually. OCD is notoriously hard. It’s why I stress “it’s not your fault.” The good God loves you (and all of us) without reservation. He is love. But OCD is a very difficult lens through which to see it.

  27. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    It took me over 30 years and, in some ways it is still going on. Both my late wife and my son had/have various forms of OCD. I have seen how they suffer, yet I have also seen God with them and me in the process of the struggle. The pain can be enormous.

    I will pray for you as best I can. I once knew another Becka who had a similar struggle too.

    I would love to give you a tour of my home Sanctuary and introduce you to all the people there who fight for us every day and have our backs.

    The Lord be with you.

  28. Owen Kelly Avatar
    Owen Kelly

    Father,
    This post about play and the last one about the face, together, reminded me of Gerard Manley Hopkins’ poem, As Kingfishers Catch Fire. I know you know it well.

    “…for Christ plays in ten thousand places,
    Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
    To the Father through the features of men’s faces.”

    After the ritual play of the liturgy, we play in the world too when we see Christ in all.

  29. Mrs Mutton Avatar
    Mrs Mutton

    It has helped me to view sin as a congenital illness. We don’t punish illness, we do our best to heal it. God actually *does* heal it, but like all healing, it takes more time to heal some wounds than it does others. Americans, especially industrialized Americans, are not very good with things needing time.

  30. Holly Holmstrom Avatar
    Holly Holmstrom

    Thank you so much for this article! I live it! I believe God is playful why else would he have created giraffes and otters and waterfalls and rainbows and people who are playful?!! As an adult I still like to play!! I am in Fort Worth, Father Basil Zebrum at St Barbara’s talks of Bishop Dimitri of Blessed Memory and many at the Dallas Cathedral believe he will be canonized. I love our Bushop Gerasim and I am going to the Diocesan Assembly in RichmondVA this Oct 28-31. Will you be there? I would love to meet you. I read all your articles and like the way you think! I am a new convert Baptized and Chrismated June 12, 2021 in the Atlantic Ocean on the coast of Nova Scotia along with my son and his family. 11 of us by Father David Edwards and Father Alexander Treiger of St Vladimir’s of Kiev in Halifax, NS. But I also lived in Oak Ridge TN for my sixth grade year so 1969. Christ is in our midst!!

  31. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Holly,
    I’m unsure if I’ll be at the Assembly. I’m retired now (from parish responsibilities). I want to come but have not checked my calendar yet. If so, I’ll be happy to meet you! Vladyka Dmitri was a true saint, I believe. Fr. Basil is a wonderful priest – you’re blessed to be in his parish!

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