Are We Connected?

How connected are we? Do your actions, thoughts, feelings, have an effect on me even if I am unaware (or on the other side of the world)? Is my existence bound within the existence of other human beings, or are we simply sharing the same planet for a period of time?

Connections between people, particularly of a spiritual nature, were declared to be mere superstitions in the march of modern rationalism. To believe in connections between people came to be seen as flawed – similar to a belief in an outer space filled with a “heavenly ether.” The rise of the mechanical universe displaced all ideas of true connections between people (or between people and things). Individuals became discrete, separate entities. The only possible effects that were allowed in such a universe were direct physical effects (which would include sound and the various forms of light), or psychological effects (how I react within myself to outside stimuli). Cause and effect were thus severely limited.

There have been some attempts within the modern world to suggest connections beyond this mechanical/psychological model. Depth Psychology (Jungian), has argued for a shared, collective unconscious, a common mind in which we all participate. The judgment of mainstream science is that such ideas are simply “kooky.”

But, the question remains: are we connected? Is our relationship to one another nothing more than the figments of our own neuroses and the violence of others’ actions?

The New Testament clearly contradicts the assumptions of the modern model:

But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. (1 Cor. 12:24-26)

The word rendered “composed” (συνεκέρασεν) in St. Paul’s thoughts on the body of Christ has a more accurate meaning of “mixed together.” “Composed” is not an incorrect translation, but our own weak reading of the word fails to capture the word’s original sense. St. Paul is making the point that God’s creation of the human body is precisely an interconnected/mixed entity. It is this “mixed” entity that most fits the Apostle’s thoughts on the nature of our life as the Church. The hand cannot say to the foot, “I have no need of you,” for far greater reasons than simple cooperation. The “members” (“parts”) of the body do not exist in a strictly distinct manner: they have something of a “mixed” existence. So, too, are Christians (and humanity as a whole – for the Church is not other than human, but the display of what it properly means to be human).

Today’s increased “wholistic” practice of medicine has renewed an emphasis on the interconnectedness of the systems within the human body. It is only convenience that makes medical science label something as one system or another – for the body is a single whole.

St. Paul takes this “wholistic” or “mixed” understanding and applies it to our human existence: “If one member suffers, we all suffer…” This same understanding, in varying forms, is common in the teachings of the spiritual fathers of the Church. The Elder Thaddeus offers this observation:

Everything, both good and evil, comes from our thoughts. Our thoughts become reality. Even today we can see that all of creation, everything that exists on the earth and in the cosmos, is nothing but Divine thought made material in time and space. We humans were created in the image of God. Mankind was given a great gift, but we hardly understand that. God’s energy and life is in us, but we do not realize it. Neither do we understand that we greatly influence others with our thoughts. We can be very good or very evil, depending on the kind of thoughts and desires we breed. If our thoughts are kind, peaceful, and quiet, turned only toward good, then we also influence ourselves and radiate peace all around us—in our family, in the whole country, everywhere. This is true not only here on earth, but in the cosmos as well. When we labor in the fields of the Lord, we create harmony. Divine harmony, peace, and quiet spread everywhere. However, when we breed negative thoughts, that is a great evil. When there is evil in us, we radiate it among our family members and wherever we go. So you see, we can be very good or very evil. If that’s the way it is, it is certainly better to choose good! Destructive thoughts destroy the stillness within, and then we have no peace. Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives: the Life and Teachings of Elder Thaddeus of Vitovnica (Kindle Locations 615-623). St. Herman of Alaska Brotherhood. Kindle Edition.

The Elder is not suggesting that our thoughts have a profound psychological effect on those around us. He is rooted in St. Paul’s understanding of συνεκέρασεν – our connectedness. We are not each a separate world, but all part of one world. Just as it has become popular to acknowledge the so-called “butterfly effect” discussed in chaos theory (a hurricane’s beginning is effected even by the flutter of a butterfly’s wings on the other side of the earth), so we should recognize that the whole of our lives – physical, spiritual, mental, etc. – is equally part of a whole.

Our cultural assumptions make us insensitive to the connections of our lives. The modern model of discrete existence supports the fantasy of a highly individualized freedom that is a foundational notion of modern consumer economies. We imagine that there are “victimless” crimes or “privatized actions.” We say to ourselves that certain behaviors are without consequence and effect no one but ourselves. This same fantasy makes it very difficult for us to understand the limitations of freedom and the inherent responsibilities of human existence. The results are a culture that is increasingly dysfunctional.

For Christians this individualized concept of the self undermines many of the primary realities of the faith. The Church cannot be rightly understood as a voluntary association. We are Baptized “into the Body of Christ.” The modern concept of the individual runs deeply contrary to Scriptural teaching on the nature of the Christian life. The sacraments, whose foundations rest within a world in which true communion and participation are possible, become more and more foreign to the individualized Christian experience. The sacraments are either deeply minimized (even to the point of extinction) or re-interpreted in voluntaristic terms. It is this re-interpretation of the sacraments that undergirds the modern notion of “open communion,” or “Eucharistic hospitality.” The exclusion of persons from the Cup of Christ is seen as an insult, a denial of their self-defined Christian identification. I have been told, “Who are you to say that I should not be allowed to come to communion?” However, “Individual communion” is an oxymoron.

The teaching of the faith regarding Personhood requires an acceptance of the connectedness of existence. Human sin tends towards fragmentation, disintegration and a radical individualism. The ultimate individual existence is the one that refuses love. The presence of the “other” is perceived as a burden and limitation. Rebirth in Christ is an entrance into a connected existence – into existence as communion. The “other” is not a burden – it is utterly required for true existence.

In the story of human creation, Adam, alone (before the creation of Eve), is described as “not good.” We were not created for aloneness. But the creation of Eve is described in terms that go further than “other.” Had “other” been the only requirement, then any of the animals whom God brought to Adam would have been fitting for the purpose. But Adam’s exclamation at Eve’s creation is in the language of connection: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh!” The “other” is also, somehow, my self.

The daily discovery of the “true self” that marks the path of salvation, is the fruit of love. It is the constant realization that my life is not my own, but is rather found both within and somehow outside myself. Or perhaps it is more correct to say that “outside myself” is something of a false concept. We must say “something of a false concept,” for the true self is not the loss of identity, a blending of the self with all else: it is communion.

The sacraments, then, are not discrete actions of the Church designed to enhance our spiritual experience: they are revelations of the way of life. For in every case, the sacraments are the life of communion, whether Ordination or Eucharist, Baptism, Chrismation, Matrimony, etc. It is for this reason that we can observe that “the whole creation is a sacrament.”

This same communion describes the means, the path, and the life of salvation. Earlier discussions on the blog have ventured to suggest a communion that reaches even into the realm of hell. Communion is not a quality or an activity of life – it is the very essence of life – its sine qua non. For this reason the faithful are taught to pray for the departed, to know and share in the prayers of the saints, and to believe that we are helped by their prayers and they benefit from ours. In such things we are not being taught how to pray, we are being taught how to live.

In Genesis, when God proposes the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, Abraham intercedes. “Will you destroy the righteous with the wicked?” And he proceeds to argue for increasingly smaller numbers of the righteous for whose sake God will spare the unrighteous. It was said at one time that there were three righteous men on account of whose prayers God spared the world. It is a Biblical notion. Our connectedness is our life.

 

 

 

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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69 responses to “Are We Connected?”

  1. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Hello Fr. Stephen.

    When we close communion to those who are not Orthodox (or not Catholic), are we then diminishing communion and interconnectedness between Christians? Also, what message does it send about the communion and interconnectedness of all human beings (regardless of creed) when we close people from the Eucharist?

  2. Lucas Galdino Avatar

    Dear Father, I was wondering what you have to say on the subject of the origin of the soul.

    Before I converted to Orthodoxy, Heaven, as the perpetuation of my own, separate, individual experience, sounded like… Pure hell. Participation in God, Theosis, feels like something entirely different, and also more practical, that I can experience day to day if I apply myself, in moments of blissful prayer where, as Blake would say, one could “hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour”.

    Now, there is one thing that troubles me, especially as a health student, which is the “making” of the soul. The body is built from material that pre-existed, was consumed, metabolized and integrated into one’s body. It sounds to me so logical that the soul, similarly, would thus arise from whatever preconscious “material” would exist for the soul. A “breath of God”, so to say. Some scientists, like Dr. Michael Levin, are beginning to push such theories for the formation of consciousness, based on the concept that a rudimentary, sleeping form of consciousness exists in the simplest components and binds together into unified consciousness. It’s a model that helps me a lot bridge my faith and my studies. The consequences such a model would have on the biological definition of “life”, though, are immense, as Dr. Levin himself often notes. And I fear it could open a can of worms towards all kind of weird spirituality.

    What are your thoughts on all this? What do the Fathers say on the formation of the soul.

    Kind regards,

    Lucas

  3. Olya Avatar
    Olya

    Dear Reverend Father: i totally agree with connectedness – how can i having sinned so greatly in my life – tho i was baptised Orthodox – due to environmental influences – i went to search for “Truth” & now i see my heart full of wrong & false beliefs – how can i still pray for others – it seems that my prayers cause more harm! I returned to Church & thru the prayers of Bishop & Deacon & whole Church i saw myself recovering – still i fear praying for others to not influence their lives- please forgive my plea – still suffering – but still i try to fill my heart with the love God has shown me! With gratitute to God for advice offered!

  4. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    To have “boundaries” is an essential part of connectedness – else we would simply consume one another (like the demons try to do). We do not have “closed communion” (that’s a 20th century Protestant term). We have communion to which the whole world is invited – with proper boundaries that preserve its integrity and allow it to be a proper tool of healing and not just a “consumable.”

    I think we presume that the only thing involved in the Eucharist is eating and drinking. This, for example, is not even true for the Orthodox. We are required to have made proper preparation (confession, repentance, fasting, etc.). But it also presumes Baptism, Chrismation, and the loyalty and commitment involved in all of those things. What approaches the Cup at any given Liturgy is something whole – not just another consumer. The so-called “open communion” of many Protestant Churches is simply Christianity without boundaries, and Eucharist that has been reduced to the level of the merely private.

    I always draw a parallel between Communion and Marriage (which is a very biblical parallel). The union of husband and wife comes with all kinds of requirements, else it becomes a demonic consuming of one another.

    We are connected – to our well-being – not our private being.

    That modernity has sought to destroy boundaries suggests its origin.

  5. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Lucas,
    I think that the general thought of the Fathers is that the soul is immaterial (which is not to say it is “nothing”). It is the creation by God at the moment of conception. We have very little language to speak of immaterial existence. Give it time.

  6. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Olya,
    It is always healthy to pray for others – simply commending them to God and to His good will for their lives. We do not truly know what they “need” (which is often not the same thing as we would imagine). They are part of our lives. Love them.

  7. Cynthia Avatar
    Cynthia

    Recently I had gone to visit a friend with cancer. She lived in Georgia and I live in Texas. After I left she began a very quick downward spiral.
    I knew she had moved to a hospice clinic and was very weak. As I sat praying for her and her niece the evening she passed, I had a very strong impression that the Holy Spirit was around me and that his presence in the room with my friend and her niece could be felt. I texted the niece (not a believer) that the Holy Spirit was there with the two of them.
    I received a phone call in about 45 minutes that my dear friend of fifty years had just passed on.
    I find that the most I can do is be a conduit for him. Thank you, Lord, that you would use me at all!

  8. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Cynthia,
    May her memory be eternal…

  9. Hal Freeman Avatar
    Hal Freeman

    Thank you for a break from the radical individualism in which some of us grew up. I remember even many of the hymns we sang in church when I was a kid started with the word, “I”. The congregation was just a bunch of individuals.

  10. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Fr. Stephen. Has modernity really sought to destroy boundaries? I hear so many secularists talking about the importance of setting healthy boundaries.

  11. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    Of course, secularism will speak about boundaries – when it serves its own interests. But, take a look at what has happened with marriage, sex, gender, nationality, etc., – pretty much the panoply of what is traditional and natural – these have been swept aside in favor of other ersatz, newly-minted ideological boundaries. Modernity is a religion (it’s not about the technology) that devours its own. And every time it makes us sick, it suggests the remedy to be yet more of the same.

    Secularity would be in favor of “healthy boundaries” – but both words are meaningless in and of themselves. It’s when you pull back the curtain and see what is actually being peddled that you realize what is going on.

  12. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Matthew,
    From modernist perspective a ‘healthy boundary’ maintains individuality. It’s more often than not still locked in modern individualism.

  13. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Father, you took the words right out of my mouth and elaborated fully!

    (I didn’t have your comment available when I posted mine)

  14. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Matthew,
    For these reasons about what Father has described in the Eucharist, I find it egregious that Roman Catholic priests tell their flock it’s ok to receive the Orthodox communion. Father says it’s just a mistake. But unfortunately the behavior appears to be more deliberate than accident in my environs.

    The priest of my parish explicitly tells the congregation who is allowed to receive communion. Yet I’m told by my Roman Catholic friends that their priests insist otherwise, suggesting that my priest is in error. Please forgive me for bringing this up. But such experiences happen regularly in my environs because of the dissemination of false information.

    Regardless of these interpretations, I also believe there can be true spiritual communion between brothers and sisters in Christ without having to breach the boundaries of the Eucharist. These would be relationships formed by God.

    My beloved is not baptized. But I truly believe our souls are connected in the love of God.

  15. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Fr. Stephen and Dee.

  16. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    I think I’m in something of a “dark conspiracy” mood this morning. I beginning to think that “individualism” is a complete ruse – that behind it is a dark will that wants to separate us from the living communion that is our life – so that it can devour us one-by-one.

    CS Lewis, in his Screwtape Letters (written from one demon to another), posits a desire to devour as the root demonic desire. In the Great Canon of St. Andrew of Crete (Ode 4, Thursday), we pray not to be eaten by the demons…just like St. Peter (1Pet. 5:8) speaks of the enemy seeking to devour us like a prowling lion. It’s been bouncing around in my thoughts today.

  17. Esmée Noelle Covey Avatar
    Esmée Noelle Covey

    It strikes me that natural disasters remind us of just how interconnected and interdependent we all are on one another. We have been experiencing another wildfire where I am living, and I have been in awe watching the firefighters and other first responders come together to do their jobs. I am transfixed by the enormous water dropping helicopters that have been flying over my town every five minutes non-stop for the past 5 days and nights. I think not just about the people needed to do this dangerous and important work in the moment, but also of those who have contributed over the years to the invention if such amazingly incredible machinery! It feels like there has been an increasing number of natural disasters over the past 10 years, though that perception could simply be a product of the internet throwing them in my face, but I wonder – if true – if God is perhaps allowing these traumatic events to remind us just how much we all really do need each other and to offer us opportunities to get outside our little self-absorbed and artificially self-contained worlds and force us to remember we have neighbors that we need to love in very practical ways.

  18. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Dear Father,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I truly believe there is something to what you’re perceiving. For good reasons for the health of our souls we have been taught to fast and to lovingly embrace what the fast is to our hearts and souls, turning our eyes to God as our food.

  19. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee, Matthew,
    There is, indeed, poor to false understandings among Catholic clergy about the boundaries between Rome and Orthodoxy. As far as Rome is concerned, there are no boundaries – which is a refusal to actually listen to and respect what the Orthodox Church teaches – and can mislead unwary Orthodox Christians. I had been an Orthodox priest for only 2 weeks, when, attending the Catholic funeral of one of my hospice patients, the priest came down from the altar, and publicly offered me a stole and invited me to concelebrate Mass with him! I politely refused – and said, “I’ve only been an Orthodox priest for 2 weeks and you’d have me defrocked before the end of the day!” He “meant well,” I suppose. But he clearly had no understanding of the reality.

    From an Orthodox perspective, it is often how Catholic ecumenism is seen – as an effort to politely devour us and just welcome us into their world. It puts the onus on the Orthodox to sound mean and uncharitable – simply because our boundaries are ignored and others are told they don’t exist.

  20. Christa Avatar
    Christa

    Oh! Thanks be to God for such words! Such life giving love and hope!

  21. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Fr. Stephen and Dee,

    Do the Orthodox accept a Catholic baptism? If yes, then why is the same acceptance not extended to the Eucharist?

  22. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    For one, they are not the same thing. And I’ll explain.

    The Orthodox do not “accept” Baptism outside the Orthodox Church, as such. Rather, following the teaching of St. Basil the Great on the matter, Orthodox extends economy wherever possible and receives those who are in schism in a variety of manners: some by Confession; some by Confession and Chrismation; some by Baptism, as the circumstances vary. However, these means of reception are all done “by economy” rather than as a declaration of “validity” or “acceptance.” It is a mercy – so that – it makes return to the fullnes of the Church easier rather than more difficult.

    There is some variety of practice in extending this economy across the various jurisdictions.

    As to Holy Communion, this is not a matter of initiation, or a gateway. It is the completion and fullness. If someone is not actually in communion – in mind, heart, belief, discipline, etc., with the Orthodox Church – then why would they want to receive communion in the Orthodox Church? It would be somehow separating that communion from the Church itself. In point of fact – the Eucharist is the Church and the Church is the Eucharist. Again, all are welcome to the Cup, but they have to approach it in a true union – which would mean actually becoming Orthodox.

    But I understand the question you’ve asked. Holy Baptism is treated differently for the reasons I’ve stated. This was/is the practice of the Church from its early centuries. I’ll also say that sometimes the Orthodox argue about this. Some of us are right. 🙂

  23. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Fr. Stephen

  24. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    To a great extent, the difference on Eucharistic discipline between East and West is rooted in the ontological approach of the East and the juridical approach of the West.

  25. David S Avatar
    David S

    Hi Father I don’t comment on here very often but your words on connectedness and communion in all of the sacraments opens up a big question for me that the orthodox world is talking about. I was brought into the church by chrismation rather than baptism. To some orthodox circles I do not have baptism, I do not share in its sacrament. I came into the Church obedient to my priest and bishop to be received by chrismation, it was thankfully not a choice I made. I definitely feel this around such people, we don’t have a communion of baptism together, I am cut off. Is this perhaps why it bothers both of us? I have tried to understand why there is so much railing for and against chrismation/corrective baptism, perhaps the underlying thing that bothers us is a lack of communion?

    Forgive me for bringing up such a topic. Thank you.

  26. Mark Spurlock Avatar
    Mark Spurlock

    Father Stephen,

    [quote]
    The presence of the “other” is perceived as a burden and limitation. Rebirth in Christ is an entrance into a connected existence – into existence as communion. The “other” is not a burden – it is utterly required for true existence.
    [end quote]

    Recently in church we read Matthew 17:14-21 (the healing of the epileptic boy). In verse 17, Jesus says, “O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you?”

    How do you interpret Christ’s words?

    It may be that I’m misinterpreting them, but it seems to me that Jesus is expressing some of the same weariness of “the burden of others.”

    As a priest (whose vocation especially is to take on the burden of his flock), you must have often felt a commiseration with Christ’s exclamation.

    For much of my life (as an introvert by nature), I have felt that my connection to other people has been to “advise” them: that is, to be objective and rational, rather than to empathize with them. Since becoming Orthodox, however, I do *try* to be more Christ-like and evidence that being a servant (rather than a teacher) is the higher calling.

    Even so, the more I try to practice this outlook, the more I struggle with feeling a communion with those I try to help. Instead, I have to fight against seeing others as eternally needy and “draining.”

    In your vocation, how have you been able to find genuine love of other people instead of only duty?

  27. Michael Nels Avatar
    Michael Nels

    Fathers Stephen could you help me understand this passage

    “For this reason the faithful are taught to pray for the departed, to know and share in the prayers of the saints, and to believe that we are helped by their prayers and they benefit from ours. In such things we are not being taught how to pray, we are being taught how to live.”

    I’m trying to learn to think from a Christian perspective. I’m coming from a western Protestant perspective. I know I am greatly influenced by secular culture and education.

    How do our prayers affect our dear departed family and friends. Are they conscious of us (like the great cloud of witnesses in Hebrews 12:1)? What do the Orthodox teach about life after death before the final judgment and resurrection. Is there a good source that I can read. I haven’t found anything in the Bible that suggests such prayers, and there is a danger in going it alone. I am back after thirty years in evangelical churches to attending a conservative Lutheran church. I am impressed by your teaching and what I know of the Orthodox Church. I still wrestle with Icons and Mary. Thanks for your consideration of my questions.

    Michael Nels

  28. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    David,
    First and foremost – you did the right thing in being directed by your priest and bishop. Generally speaking, it is simply not the case that the issue of “corrective” Baptism (which is re-Baptizing someone after they have been received into the Church by Chrismation and already receiving communion) is anywhere being driven by a Synod of Bishops. It is, frankly, largely an internet-driven topic that has been rebuked time and again by the bishops of the Church. My advice, frankly, is to avoid conversations with those who advocate such a practice. They trouble the conscience and distort the proper teaching on the Holy Sacraments.

    I avoid controversy on the blog (I’m terrible at arguing for things and it destroys the peace of our souls). So, I’ll not be doing an in-depth discussion on this topic. But – the decision regarding how someone is received into the Church rests with the bishop – after which discussion should cease.

  29. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Fr. Stephen.

  30. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mark,
    That passage sounds the same to me…but mostly I ponder what must be going on within it. It’s sort of like going through your day when you hear, from heaven, a loud sigh. 🙂

    As a priest, I don’t think I ever got weary of people (just how I’m wired). I was wearied of myself many times. For good and ill, I think I’m very empathetic – and there are downsides and darksides to this. Discerning the difference between love and neurosis was/is an ongoing battle.

  31. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michael Nels,
    It’s interesting that in its official statements on the topic of how our prayers help the departed, Orthodoxy generally says nothing more than “they are of benefit.” What we have beyond that are stories – mostly from various saints and elders that give instances of our prayers benefitting the departed…up to and including drawing them out of hell/hades. It is very tempting to want to have a sort of model of how all of that “works.” And, that’s a critique that Orthodoxy classically has about the doctrine of purgatory – too much information not properly grounded. Thus, with Orthodoxy, “less is more.”

    In my own prayers, I have a list of the departed – my parents and grandparents, extended family, children and grandchildren, and parishioners through the years. When I pray for them, I use the prayers of the Church – such as “grant rest eternal, O Lord, to Thy servants with Thy saints, and make their memory to be eternal.” But, in some cases, I’ve had one-sided conversations (of a sort). I’ve stood by my parents’ graves, for example, and gone through a long list of thanksgiving for things they did for me (that I mostly never got around to saying). I’ve also done prayers in which I asked their forgiveness, etc.

    When I enter the Church, there are places for lighting candles. I light candles for the departed with prayers and other candles for the living. I have a sense that we are all gathered together in that place (which is heaven-on-earth).

    Be patient with yourself. The reality of these things is given us by grace – as we allow that to be possible. It is a way of life that the saints have lived before us. We’re in good company.

  32. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Does Jesus and His grace work differently in Catholic communion than in Orthodox communion?

  33. Michael Nels Avatar
    Michael Nels

    Thank you father for your kind response. Being thankful for family and friends in my prayers seems a good start. As I get older (turned 74 this month I seem to do more reflection on what comes next as friends and family pass on. It also becomes difficult to find people older and wiser to consult with. My younger sister passed away 6 months ago after a battle with cancer, grieving seems to be a new journey each time. A 71 year journey with a sister and a friend is a lot of connection, Reflecting. Trusting my Lord has it all in control, but tears still come. The following verse comes to mind this morning

    1 Corinthians 2:9
    “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,
    nor the heart of man imagined,
    what God has prepared for those who love him”—

    Thanks for listening

  34. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    There is something seriously flawed in the question – and I’m not sure how to describe it. Orthodoxy does not have a formal theology of what is “outside” of the communion of the Orthodox Church. The wind blows where it wills.

  35. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michael,
    May God grant you comfort. Our grief will one day be swallowed up in joy.

  36. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Fr. Stephen. I was only asking because you mentioned in a previous comment:

    “To a great extent, the difference on Eucharistic discipline between East and West is rooted in the ontological approach of the East and the juridical approach of the West.”

    I took this to mean that the reason we cannot share one another´s Eucharist is because of ontological vs. juridicial theological understandings. This then lead me to think if one partakes of communion in a “juridicial” setting (Catholicism) and another in a “ontological” setting (Orthodoxy), then maybe Jesus Christ is working differently in the Eucharist depending on where it is eaten.

    That seemed … well … strange to me. Forgive me for being (possibly) confusing in my questioning.

  37. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Matthew,
    The sharing of communion is not problematic because of different understandings – it is because we are not in communion (there is a schism that’s been unresolved for a thousand years). That schism is more complicated now than it was a thousand years ago – but that is the issue rather than questions about the Eucharist itself.

    There’s a mistaken Catholic idea (I’ve heard it before) that others cannot receive communion in the Catholic Church because they don’t believe it to be the actual Body and Blood of Christ. That’s not the problem (even in Catholic teaching). But – “folk theology” is often wrong. Sadly, even many priests have little more than a “folk” understanding rather than what you would expect.

    The Eucharist, if it is truly the Eucharist, is the Body and Blood of Christ even if one’s understanding of it is wrong-headed, etc. The difference between an ontological approach versus a juridical approach is that they are two different “languages” and “grammars” which makes conversation about the topic problematic.

  38. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks so much Fr. Stephen as always.

  39. Mark Spurlock Avatar
    Mark Spurlock

    Thank you, Father Stephen. To clarify, I don’t think I entirely lack empathy because part of what I’m describing is more like “compassion fatigue.”

    To be sure and to a point, I often “feel good doing good.” It was, however, easier to practice “help those who help themselves,” “teach a man to fish, instead of giving him a fish,” etc.–a more Americanized, individualistic Christianity–versus “when someone demands your cloak, give him your shirt as well.”

    I imagine priests must particularly experience this sense of the infinity of human needs because they wear a uniform that signals to the world they are among what Mr. Rogers called the helpers.

    I do find your self description interesting in that I seldom ever have trouble understanding you–that is, your thoughts and feelings in your writing–which would tend to make me think we share similar outlooks. But not ever growing weary of people…that’s hard for me to imagine 🙂 I appreciate your statement that such extroversion has had its downsides, because I have at times felt my introversion–if I gave into it completely–would become pathological.

    On the other hand, Ken Liu (SF author) wrote that when we are reading we are not alone: we commune not only with the writer but all the other readers of that writer. In that case, I suppose preferring a good book to a good party might indicate less introversion than is traditionally presumed!

  40. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mark,
    Don’t get me wrong – over the years, I’ve certainly been exhausted from time to time. But, generally, I have rarely been “put out” with parishioners – except in exceptional circumstances.

  41. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Father,
    Does requiring a certain age of reason before receiving the Eucharist indicate a different theology about the Eucharist? In other words, as I understand it (and I may be wrong), the Roman Catholic beliefs are that babies are baptized, as are Orthodox babies, but are not ‘confirmed’ or ‘Chrismated’ in Orthodox terms until they are older children. Is this related to a juridical approach?

    Would you be willing to elaborate why Orthodox do what they do? For example why so we baptize and chrismate an Orthodox baby, why not wait until they might judge for themselves what they want?

  42. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    I think it’s more related to the rational approach in the west, Dee. Catholics teach that the child must be instructed before partaking of the Eucharist. They must understand. I suppose this rational approach to things is not part of the Orthidox ethos. Could be wrong though …

  43. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee, Matthew,
    The non-confirmation and non-communion of infants in the Catholic West is/was indicative of a juridical approach, and it was carried over into the early Protestant groups as well. The Episcopal Church in the US now communes infants but has done so only since the 70’s.

    The thinking was that before taking communion, there needed to be confession of sin and absolution, and that children weren’t ready for that until around age 7 or 8 (“first communion”). Truth be told, any argument against communing infants would be an argument against Baptizing them (or so it seemed to me through the years). Again, this is the sort of difference between East and West that is rooted in the difference between an ontological (Eastern) approach and a juridical (Western) approach. It’s the sort of thinking that yields different results that can be quite practical.

    Orthodox thought sees original sin as mortality rather than as inherited guilt. We have received the practice of infant baptism from the time of the Apostles (we have always done it). But we Chrismate as well (which is similar to “Confirmation” in the West) at the time of Baptism, and commune them on that very day and continue to do so. Indeed, it points towards the Church’s view of the innocence of children.

    It’s a much longer topic than I can cover this morning, but is worth an article of its own. I’ll put it on my list!

  44. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thanks Fr. Stephen.

    I think infants are capable of receiving God´s grace in the Eucharist even before they can understand or rationalize what is going on. Jesus said that children shouldn´t be prevented from coming to him. Jesus is really present in the Eucharist. Why should children be prevented, then, from coming to him in the Eucharist … even infants?

    I like the practice of giving infants Baptism and Chrismation and then the Eucharist all at once. It is beautiful and seems perfectly consistent with ancient church practice, but I do understand (now) the difference between ontological and juridicial approaches (east and west) and how they affect things on a practical and experiential level.

  45. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Matthew and Father,
    In the thinking of the West, which I partake despite myself and preferring not to do so, (yet nevertheless fall into it anyway) when I speak of the practical or experiential I tend to exclude the spiritual dimension in my thinking. Therefore because of my noticing my tendency, I insert this word intentionally because of the shortcomings of my own thinking. That the ramifications of deciding to postpone the Eucharist is more than practical or experiential but has spiritual and soul-life impacts.

    I think it is good that since Vatican II the Eastern Rite in Roman Catholicism no longer postpones chrismation and Eucharist. Yet this rise of Eastern practices has not changed the theological underpinnings in Roman Catholic teachings, as far as I understand, which admittedly my knowledge is limited. And I ask for clarification.

  46. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Hello Dee.

    While most lay Catholics (I prefer saying Catholic over Roman Catholic) are not aware of this (IMO), salvation in Catholicism is taught as union with God, though understood through a juridical lens. Pope Benedict XVI as well as Fr. Thomas Keating and my priest describe salvation as such. Evangelical Protestants do not describe salvation in this way.

    I don´t want to get into an argument again Dee :-), so I´ll end by saying Catholics can learn so much from the Orthodox. Thanks for your presence in this space. I appreciate it.

  47. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee, Matthew, et al
    The Eastern Church began a slow and steady “engagement” with the West following the Russian Revolution (1917-18). This was particularly led by the emigres who fled the slaughter that would have claimed them in the Soviet Union. Orthodoxy had long had a tendency to live quietly behind the walls of its cultural isolation. This changed with the influx of emigres into the West.

    Being surrounded by Protestant, Catholic, and Secular cultures was a new experience for Orthodoxy. For one, it forced its thinkers to examine themselves and what they had received and to consider how it differed from where they had landed. It was often eye-opening for Orthodox thought. If Orthodoxy is different – what is distinctive about it?

    Leading voices in this exploration were men like Fr. Georges Florovsky, St. Dmitru Staniloae, Fr. Alexander Schmemann, and others who were shaped by their thought/work. It also had the benefit of raising the awareness of Orthodox thought among a number of Western thinkers.

    One result of this encounter has been to elevate Orthodox awareness of its inheritance of “ontological” thought (thinking about theology in the grammar of “being”), as well as a critical assessment of the West’s tendency towards juridical thought.

    One noted result has been, I think, a greater awareness in the West of just how problematic its juridical inheritance it. When Michael describes the Catholic teaching of salvation as “union with God” – he is demonstrating the effect in the West of Orthodox thought. The problem is that there are lots of centuries in the Western Church in which such a statement would not have been made. Rather, some sort of juridical formulation would have been offered.

    In truth, many in the West have recognized that the Eastern Church truly is the continuation of the early Church into the present time. There is, however, a tendency to see it as something to be “mined” for insights and “theological gems” rather than to be embraced. I think I would describe this as my own attitude for a number of years. I loved Orthodoxy – mined its insights and sought to implement them in my own situation. It simply became clear to me, over time, that is was inadequate. I longed for the fullness and the actual life that could only come from entering the Orthodox Church itself.

    The West frequently finds itself in a sort of living contradiction. It’s habits and practices were formed or shaped in a juridical consciousness. Correcting that is difficult and the contradictions abound. Of course, a huge segment of modern Protestantism separated itself from earlier Protestant thought and has become a cultural expression of modernity itself – even when it espouses generally traditional beliefs.

    Of course, all of this is a bit of a mess. Orthodoxy is an “uneven” option in many places – and people find themselves somewhat stranded when thinking about all of this. I did not encounter the OCA until 20 years after I began reading Orthodox writings. I did not realize what I was missing until that point.

    I have sometimes been asked about conversations between Orthodoxy and Catholicism. One of my responses is – “which Catholicism” – mostly recognizing that it is no longer a monolithic, single Church culture, but a vast structure with lots of internal contradictions. Orthodoxy, in some corners, has recognized that there could be a “Western Rite Orthodoxy” – but I am a bit doubtful about certain aspects of that possibility. Nonetheless, it exists.

    We live in interesting times.

  48. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Dear Fr. Stephen, I believe that “May you live in interesting times” may be a type of “proverb” — for good or for ill!

    I so appreciate your words here in comments and this blog post (and ALL your blog posts!) God grant you many years and I pray ALL God’s blessings on all you love, your family, of course, and all you do!

  49. Jenny Avatar
    Jenny

    Father,

    The concept of interconnection among us all is a new way of understanding for me. It’s similar to trying to understand the progression of history outside of chronological time, but instead to see Christ’s Pascha as the center, and all things before and after it moving toward its full revelation- if indeed, I am even understanding this concept enough to describe it.

    I try to understand though, because so many insights light up when looking at life in these ways. For example, I thought there was a great gulf dividing Eve and Mary, almost as though they are two different types of humans.

    But Eve is now a saint and the mother of all living, and through her eventually came Mary, the Mother of God, and through her Son we are all given Life. So there is a communion between them. If these two women are so connected, then nobody else could be that far apart.

    On the day of my mother’s funeral, I was still trying to think what I would say when it was my turn to speak. Nothing had come to me yet. All I could remember was all the pain of my childhood.

    My mother and I were both victims of the same man when we were children- her uncle and my great uncle. This shared trauma across generations caused our relationship to be full of dysfunction in many ways.

    I grew up feeling myself to be an emotional burden and a drain on my mom. I wanted a great deal more from her than she could give. It was this feeling of rejection, the feeling of being a burden and shame of myself that was coming up so strongly that morning.

    It had been a long time since I’d felt those emotions, raw like they were new. I’d forgiven my mother over and over again, assuring her that I understand how it was that neither she nor my father knew how to keep me safe, as they had been blinded by the dysfunction of their own abuse histories. They hadn’t been kept safe either.

    I had shared with my mom all the redemption and restoring of my soul that Jesus had accomplished in my life, and she shared her stories with me. It became a precious bond.

    But on the day of her funeral, it was as if all this healing had never happened. As I was caught up in this, I knew the presence of the Lord was in the room and then I knew my mother was also there.

    It was my very own ordinary but beloved mom- the same practical, kind hearted woman who loved plain mashed potatoes, cross stitch and reading English novels in her bedroom.

    The same mom, but fully alive, without any wounds and with her emotions all free and flowing. For the first time in my life, I felt her full sympathy and sorrow and love pouring over me. She fully loved me. She could hear and validate my deepest grief, and in doing so, heal it. I was bawling like a baby.

    Describing this experience is what I ended up saying at her funeral service later that day- everyone there knew our background. I was hardly aware of it at the time, but my daughter had stood up with me, and every time I cried, she cried.

    This helped explain something you had said on your blog that I had never forgotten and couldn’t understand. You had said, of the Virgin, that her sweetness had pierced your heart long ago.

    When I first read that, I had a strong negative reaction, because I thought, how can anyone but the Trinity express themselves to us from Heaven? I wanted to toss it aside and cease to consider it, but I had too much respect for you to do that. I had been reading your work over ten years by then. I had to wrestle with what it might mean.

    But after that experience of my mother’s presence, I thought, if the Lord allowed my own beloved but ordinary mother to express herself to me from Heaven, how much more would He assist His own most holy Mother to express herself to us in our hearts?

    In that prayer you suggested, I have been asking the Most Holy Mother of God if she might pray for me. It makes me think a great deal about her.

    At first I thought, as she is most holy, how can she feel much compassion for sinners? She has never known sin. Even the Lord has known sin through His cross, but His Mother has never known it.

    But I thought about what it would be like to face temptation and struggle against it, and then, before one’s foot slips, to be lifted over it by the Holy Spirit. And how it would feel if this happened again and again- all one’s life.

    And then, how it would feel if the same grace was not given to your children. How heartbreaking it must be to watch one’s beloved children struggle against temptation and sin, and stumble In instead of being lifted over.

    Then I knew how passionately and sincerely and earnestly she must intercede for us, from the depths of her mother’s heart.

    At a certain point in my life, I knew that it was time for me to forgive my abuser. I did not know how I would do that. I will not enumerate his abuses, as it’s a burden. But as an example, he was only finally asked to leave the church when I was visiting friends at the church center he and his family attended, and that Sunday, when church started, he brought out a butcher knife and a sharpener, and began methodically sharpening the knife during service.

    When I asked the Lord Jesus to help me forgive him, I saw the image of a very small boy lost in an immense, frightening darkness. Then I knew that as he had given increasing rein to darkness in his life, and began to devour others, he himself had been devoured by the dark, and there was only a small part of himself remaining.

    Seeing this, it was easy to forgive him, in the sense of releasing any desire on my part that he be further punished. It was easy to plead with the Lord to save that small, terrified boy from being completely eaten. If I meet my great uncle in Heaven, it will be a relief to me, and I know it will be like meeting him for the first time, he will be so changed.

    One of the most priceless things about suffering with Jesus is that one is able to understand His own suffering in a way deeper than words. His suffering is a sacred thing, very precious.

    And of course, being the God of all comfort, He comforts those who suffer with Him. But the most precious and almost ineffable gift of all is that it seems one may even comfort Him. For this gift, I would never give up any of my pain. I would pay that price all over again.

    A day before my mother’s funeral, a memory popped up on my Facebook feed. It was a note my mom had written many years before, and had tagged me in it. In it, she talked about suffering and how she loved Jesus, and the most precious thing of all, that in her suffering, she could comfort the Lord.

    I sat there, stunned. I couldn’t remember her ever writing that. I had no idea she knew that. Had I learned it from her? Or had she learned it from me when I had shared with her how the Lord had been redeeming my soul from the abuse? I still can’t answer; I don’t know who taught whom first.

    I don’t have my father’s hands. I have the short, square hands of my mother, with fingers that swell at the end of the day, and my wedding rings get embedded in my skin. Age spots proliferate and there is a fine web of wrinkles over the back of my hands. When I am washing dishes or peeling carrots, I sometimes have double vision and can’t tell whose hands I’m looking at, especially because my dad gave me mom’s engagement ring, which I wear now on my right hand.

    When my daughter was only two, I remember looking at her hands. They were elegant even then- long fingered and beautiful. She has a kind of elfin beauty very different from any loveliness I might have had, years ago. She gets all her beauty from her birthmother.

    I thought with a pang of heart that none of my daughter’s loveliness would come from me. I could gift her nothing of that kind.

    Then I was reminded that perhaps my inheritance to her might be spiritual instead. I have held on to that hope and I still do. I hope and pray that her lasting inheritance from me will be the beauty of hope and redemption, and of communion with the Lord and His family.

  50. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Margaret,
    It was simply the observation that we all live in “interesting times.” I had the Chinese proverb in mind that is a “curse” “may you live in interesting times.” 🙂

  51. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Thank you Fr Stephen! I thought I’d heard that phrase before.

  52. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Dear Father ,
    Where you express a bit of doubt, I hold a lot of doubt I do not see how such will lead to a healthy way to go for supporting the life of Orthodox Church. Doesn’t history show that schisms are made this way? I have explored their websites. It seems such structures and practices are most attractive to those who don’t really have any comfort in the traditional Orthodox Church or her theology—so why convert only to want to convert the ways of the Church? (This is how it seems to me)

    May God have mercy on us and the way we create our interesting times.

  53. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Matthew,
    Sometimes people ask me whether I’m Catholic. I say “yes but not Roman Catholic “. Then I explain that I’m Eastern Orthodox and that the Eastern Orthodox Church describes itself as the one holy Catholic Church, but it isn’t Roman Catholic. Generally I think they get it. The Orthodox Church has a long history where I live. But confusions arise when Catholic priests obfuscate the truth of our differences and say we are in communion when in fact we are not in communion. So I emphasize the Roman distinction. Otherwise such emphasis would not have been necessary were it not for such confusion.

  54. Matthew W. Avatar
    Matthew W.

    “To a great extent, the difference on Eucharistic discipline between East and West is rooted in the ontological approach of the East and the juridical approach of the West.”

    I would like to hear more on this.

    Please.

    Thank-you.

  55. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    It’s, more or less, a moot point. It’s in the hands of bishops and has been blessed. I recognize that it’s a “work in progress” so I pray for it.

  56. Mallory Avatar
    Mallory

    Fr. Stephen, Thank you, thank you. After weeks of being with my young daughter with no childcare of any kind, the domestic work drowning me without the relief of preschool, plus watching my mother struggle with cancer treatments, boy did I need to read this!! And also your comments about boundaries were helpful as well. It’s a very tricky balance. I especially thank you for this reminder:

    “The ultimate individual existence is the one that refuses love. The presence of the “other” is perceived as a burden and limitation. Rebirth in Christ is an entrance into a connected existence – into existence as communion. The “other” is not a burden – it is utterly required for true existence.”

    Interestingly, I can feel the modernist/individual brainwashing in me as it pulls me away from my present moment raising this incredible child. What a gift she is, yet I almost hourly these days have to pray to be given the grace to see it. Not see her–I am lucky that she is plainly joy and love personified, but I am often pained by the contrast between her true nature and how overburdened I feel in “my life”/my circumstances in general. The loss of freedom I grieve. The loss, as I see it, of joy. But who is grieving the loss of freedom? Surely not the goodness in me.

    Also, I recently read about Lot offering up his daughters, can you comment on this scene? What in the world can I make of this?? “Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.” And then later…”And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.”

    He perceived not? Really? That makes no sense to me. The whole story disturbs me and makes me think there is a mystery in here that I am not perceiving. Is there perhaps a mystical or symbolic interpretation for this?

    I wish for simplicity sometimes. I think that’s why I’m attracted to Buddhism, as I’ve often mentioned. Yet here I am. And I am so grateful to your writings, to your wisdom and heart. I often wonder how my programming would be radically different if I had a parent with your patience and care.

    God bless everyone here!

  57. Matthew Avatar
    Matthew

    Thank you once again Fr. Stephen and Dee. It is good to talk about these things.

  58. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Father,
    Indeed, you are right about a “moot” point. Still, I believe that we have a lesson going forward to ask ourselves what makes a good “catechism”. If there is resistance or evidence of a need for a longer learning curve, why not provide pastoral guidance to prolong the catechism? Why rush into the conversion process when it would take a while to become accustomed, embrace, and love the Church just as she is (even with her warts and all)? Instead, it sometimes seems to be a kind of “shotgun” marriage, where the insistence and emotional charge of a delay overwhelms the thoughtful guidance of a priest.

    Of course, I have no idea what pressures are on a priest, and our priests are few, I suppose, and perhaps this also influences circumstances. Please forgive me for this rambling. I love our traditional Eastern Church just as she is. It’s hard for me to fathom what’s not to love.

  59. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    Most of the priests that I know here in the convert-rich South tend to want to slow the process down, rather than speed it up. I’ve got some thoughts related to conversion and ontology that I’m working on an article for.

    The short version: it’s not so much a “decsion” or “choice” when it comes to conversion – it’s closer to “marinate.”

  60. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Marinate is a very good word, Father!! : )

  61. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mallory,
    I’d have to do some research. But – I don’t try to apply the literal reading of the story.

  62. Other Matthew Avatar
    Other Matthew

    One of the major purposes of many of the stories in Genesis seems to be to provide the origins of various peoples that lived in the area. Out of these two acts of incest came two peoples. One of them was the Moabites. The most famous Moabite was Ruth, who was the grandmother of David, King of Israel, and therefore one of the ancestors of Jesus Christ.

  63. Dee of Sts Herman and Olga Avatar
    Dee of Sts Herman and Olga

    Other Matthew,
    (I’m writing a lot today–I’ll stop now) Adding to what you have said, also David and Bathsheba (the woman with whom David had an adulterous relationship and for whom he murdered) is also the ancestor of Christ.

    These are echoes of the story of Joseph, where God “makes good” that which was meant for harm, ultimately leading to the protection of “Israel”.

  64. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee and Other Matthew,
    Very good points!

  65. Nicole from VA Avatar
    Nicole from VA

    Mallory, I will be praying for you today and this week. Everything you said about being a mom combined with seeing illness in grandparents resonated with me.

    I have been watching the YouTube videos of Fr. Stephen Muse over the past 6 months. In one of them he says that Psalm 23 has that phrase ‘He sets a table for me in the presence of my enemies’ in the sense that part of us rejoices deeply in the gifts of God, while other parts of us feel other ways.

    I am not doing it justice. I just hope to encourage you and send a hello. I know very much what you mean

  66. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Fr. Stephen Muse is a very good, very wise priest.

  67. Mallory Avatar
    Mallory

    Nicole,

    Thank you so much for your prayers, and I will definitely look up Fr. Stephen Muse.

  68. Jeff Crawford Avatar
    Jeff Crawford

    Fr. Steven.
    Thank you for this post, and for all your writings. I whole heartedly agree with your thoughts on “interconnectedness”

    I have a question about the source for ” It was said at one time that there were three righteous men on account of whose prayers God spared the world.” I’ve heard that too, I think in Hasidic writings.

    Is the ‘biblical notion’ drawn from Genesis 18? But the number “3” from Ezekiel?

    For me, the notion holds true no matter whether the number of men (persons) is 10 or 3. But I thought to ask if you have a citation

    Thanks! Jeff Crawford (from Christ the Savior/Holy Spirit in Cincinnati)

  69. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Jeff,
    I seem to recall the anecdote involved St. Sophronius of Jerusalem, St. Andrew of Crete, and a third that I can’t recall. But that places it in the 6th century. I’ve also seen the Jewish reference in Hasidic literature. I think the origin of the notion is rooted in Genesis 18 for sure.

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