Mother of Us All

A young friend recently lost his mother. It has been an occasion of reflection for me, thinking about the emptiness created by such a loss. Despite all of the confusion and conundrums in our contemporary culture surrounding gender issues – they only serve to underscore the fact that male-and-female, on the most fundamental level of the human psyche, are core realities – subject to debate, but not subject to dismissal. We are created male and female and, no matter how all of that may dysfunctionally appear in someone’s life, it frames our world and our place in it. It is noteworthy, however, that these fundamental realities have often been distorted. That same distortion tends to make a culture crazy.

When the Scriptures begin the story of human beings it is as though it were written in crayon. The characters are stark, with very little elaboration. The Man is first, taken from the earth. His very name, Adam, is related to the earth (Adamah). The Woman is taken from the Man. Adam calls her “Woman” (Ishah) because she was taken out of Man (Ish). This male and female reality is magnified even more in the New Testament, particularly in the writings of St. Paul.

St. Paul describes Christ as the “Second Adam,” and draws on the imagery of Genesis to describe Christ and the Church (His bride). Various elements of this imagery will enter into other Christian writings (Revelation is a case in point). All of the gospels make mention of Mary, with St. Luke and St. John having the most material, and the most important. It is also material that is easily overlooked and suppressed. Christ told us that the “pure in heart shall see God.” The distortions within our own hearts hide not only God, but His purpose in the Theotokos as well. The Scriptures remain.

Just as Christ is the Second Adam, so the Tradition sees Mary as the “Second Eve.” The first Eve was called the “Mother of all living.” This was true in a genealogical sense. However, Mary is the Mother of us all in a theological sense. On the Cross, Jesus says to St. John, “Behold your mother,” as he gives him the charge of caring for her. The Church has seen this verse as extending beyond St. John to us all. She is Mother of us all.

When I think of my experience as an Orthodox Christian, I cannot begin to exaggerate the importance of the Theotokos in my life. She is in my prayers, my theology, my understanding of God – but, beyond and above all that, she is in my mind and heart. To live in America from the mid-20th century forward, is to have lived through a deluge of gender wars and the so-called sexual revolution. Definitions and re-definitions have been our constant fare. It’s not that human beings have ever been really great at such things – indeed, Genesis (from the beginning) talks about enmity between men and women. We love each other, and we prey on each other. However, from a certain point in my 20’s, the Theotokos entered into my theological and prayer life. Initially, what I knew was largely derivative of Catholic devotions. Not until my mid-40’s did I become Orthodox and begin the assimilation of the Orthodox mindset. Nevertheless, throughout all of that, Mary has been part of a stability – a spiritual stability, that has been essential to understanding my place in the world and the world’s place in me.

A great emptiness in modern culture is the lack of models. You cannot construct the psyche of a culture out of thin air, much less from the constantly changing ephemera of academic and journalistic make-believe. Children need stable structures rather than ideologies and Tik-Tok wisdom. However, it is also true that transcendent models are difficult to come by (much less transcendent models that have truth and reality behind them).

I have written a handful of articles regarding the Theotokos over the years. They are always published with a certain sense of dread. The dread comes from the rather predictable complaints from various Christians for whom Orthodox devotion to the Theotokos is anathema (or close to it). The pain of the dread comes from the tenderness that accompanies her place within my heart. It also comes from the emptiness I feel when I contemplate her absence in the lives of so many.

Dostoevsky once contemplated what he called the contrast between the “Madonna and Sodom.” The first was and is profoundly embodied in the beauty and wonder of the Theotokos. The latter is perhaps best embodied in the annals of pornography. He marveled at how the two coexisted in the human heart. Of course, he was writing from within an Orthodox culture, and he had exposure to Catholic culture as well. What he had not seen, I suspect, was the emptiness of secularized Protestant culture, where the “Madonna” has been all but eradicated. Modern woman has been made to compete with the profane images of Sodom in our rampant pornography, with often little more than a militarized feminism and mock-masculinity to offer any push-back. Indeed, feminists are just as likely to mock the Theotokos and blame that image for much of their oppression.

I cannot point to some ideal society of the past and say, “See! It worked there!” There are no ideal Orthodox cultures, only some in which Orthodoxy has had a prominent place. Nevertheless, we have many examples of individuals within various cultures who have found sanity and healing – some are named as saints.

It is significant, I think, that the Theotokos is Woman who is not sexualized. In that fashion, she is, indeed, mother of us all. In a healthy life, our mothers are exempt from sexualization. In a healthy world, the relationship between male and female is not burdened with constant sexualization. But many have little experience of such an existence. One of the deepest insights of Genesis is that male and female do not exist without one another – they complete and fulfill one another. As such, neither can be understood apart from the other.

What we have in God’s gift of the Theotokos (and our veneration of her) is a vision of wholeness, a fulfillment of the promises made in Genesis. It is, no doubt, a troubling thing for some to read that we cannot truly know Christ apart from the Theotokos – but we have no Christ who is not made known in the Incarnation which is inherently in and of the Theotokos. And the historical revelations we have in the gospel are not mere history – facts to be noted and filed away. What is made known to us is the gateway to what is true and real and good – now.

Orthodox worship utterly focuses on Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but it is sung in the “key” of the Theotokos. We do not tell the human story (even as heavenly worship) that is not also a story of male and female, the fullness of our existence in the wonder of our creation. We need everything God has given us.

About Fr. Stephen Freeman

Fr. Stephen is a retired Archpriest of the Orthodox Church in America. He is also author of Everywhere Present: Christianity in a One-Storey Universe, and Face to Face: Knowing God Beyond Our Shame, as well as the Glory to God podcast series on Ancient Faith Radio.



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32 responses to “Mother of Us All”

  1. Deacon Nicholas D. Avatar
    Deacon Nicholas D.

    Thank you, Father.
    Recently, the thought has occurred to me (yes, sometimes a dangerous thing) that when we sing the dismissal “Confirm, O God, the holy Orthodox faith and Orthodox Christians,” we follow it with “Most Holy Theotokos, save us! More honorable….”

    Can we say that, in a sense, she is the confirmation of our faith?

  2. Margaret Avatar
    Margaret

    Thank you for these words, Fr. Stephen! I became Orthodox Christian with my family when I was 42, having been raised Protestant mostly Methodist and Church of Christ, and married and had children in the Anglican/Episcopal church. One of the most important of the many blessings Our Lord has given me through Orthodox Christian life is His Mother! The Akathist to the Mother of God Nurturer of Children was recommended to me early in my conversion to Orthodox Christianity and the blessings from these prayers, I cannot count and I know I do not recognize them all. I very much appreciate your post here and the encouragement to venerate and meditate and pray to her and to ask for her intercessions. Glory to God for All Things!

  3. Patricia Avatar
    Patricia

    Orthodox worship utterly focuses on Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, but it is sung in the “key” of the Theotokos.

    What a beautiful way to describe our Orthodox/Eastern Catholic worship! Thank you!

  4. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Father,
    The Theotokos is critically important not only theologically but ontologically. However as I understand it, the path to love her and to see her part in our activities to help and save us, is often lost upon those who have come to Orthodoxy from Protestantism. There has been such a loss to Protestantism as a result. Lord have mercy on us all.

  5. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Deacon Nicholas,
    I know that when we address her as “Theotokos” – to a great extent an understanding of the whole of Orthodox theology is implied and carried within it. It is part of the great inheritance of Orthodoxy that we do not so much “think” theology as we “sing” it. There is a mystery there as well – revealing something about the true nature of our humanity.

  6. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Dee,
    Conversion is certainly a “process.” But, as those who come to us from the many backgrounds of our culture are “bathed” in Orthodox liturgical worship and practices, that which is “lacking” is completed by the Holy Spirit. I know so, so many stories of how this has unfolded in individual lives. So much that was a result of the Reformation was simply unintended. I have previously recommended the book The Unintended Reformation by Brad Gregory. I have, thus far in my experience, never met anyone who has been Orthodox for more than 10 years who was still baffled by the Church’s devotion to the Theotokos, regardless of their background. Some of us have to “marinate” longer than others. 🙂

  7. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    I came to The Orthodox Church from a Christian mystery cult that included veneration of Mary (fortunately). I entered the sanctuary, took one look at the icon above the altar More Spacious Than the Heavens and was welcomed by her to the worship of her Son, our Lord.

    Understanding that the Incarnation demands Mary and her blessed willing participation: “Let it be done unto me according to Your word.”

    There is such strength in the way she says those words when I consider she could have said no.

    Her obedience is never slavish.

    ….and so each of us in the midst of our repentance must find the same place in our hearts to say “Let be done unto me according to your word.”

  8. Kristin Avatar
    Kristin

    I love your words, especially as I prepare for the Dormition feast. As a convert from a mixed bag of Protestant churches, I really struggled with the theology of the Theotokos. During my catechumen time, I took up the Festal Menaion and read her Nativity feast texts. I wrote two columns on a piece of paper, one for all her names and one for all the things she does. By the time I completed this reading I found my heart had softened considerably. With great awkwardness I started praying and venerating a little differently. I can’t say I don’t sometimes feel awkward now, 6 years in, but I am beginning to understand her and know her as my Mother, and to love her.

  9. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Kristin,
    What a wonderful practice: to read the texts of the Menaion and the feasts! I like how you said, “My heart softened considerably.” Ultimately, these things are something we can only learn “by heart.” Though I have written small articles on the topic, I find that I cannot begin to express the fullness that resides in my heart. There are those who (not understanding) ask questions such as, “Doesn’t devotion to Mary distract from Christ?” In truth, we do not practice “devotion to Mary.” We practice worship of Christ acknowledging her role in the reality of the Incarnation (that continues forever). It is worship “in the Key of the Theotokos.” The result isn’t a diminishment in our worship of Christ but an expansion of our worship of Christ. It is the ignorance of such things that diminishes the worship of Christ.

    Thank you for sharing! May the joy of the coming feast fill your heart!

  10. Terry Avatar
    Terry

    In a lecture I went to (and a similar one available online) “Our mother church: Mary and ecclesiology” by Fr John Behr. He said “Behold, your mother” is better understood as “Behold, the Mother”.

  11. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    It is the ignorance of such things that diminishes the worship of Christ.

    I wonder at this kind of ignorance. Would acknowledging and loving your wife or husband’s family diminish your love for your wife or husband? I would expect it to grant it even greater fullness. It just strikes me as an odd viewpoint.

    As a convert, I did not find veneration of the Theotokos to be problematic. Much the opposite, I find my apathy in veneration to be a great problem at times.

  12. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Byron,
    My take on the criticism of “such things diminish the worship of Christ” – is spoken by someone who actually doesn’t know what they’re talking about – that they imagine it would create such a diminishment – when it does quite the opposite.

    In truth, though I studied Orthodoxy quite seriously for 20 years before converting (I even wrote my thesis at Duke on the “Icon as Theology”), I learned far more after I converted and was immersed in the liturgical life of the Church. The Orthodox faith is learned by doing – rather than by theory. Even the things that I knew “by theory” and was “correct” about – I came to know them in a different way and far more profoundly through the actions of the liturgies. Orthodox from-the-outside is not the same thing as from-the-inside. The inside is much, much larger than the outside.

  13. Alexandre Avatar
    Alexandre

    Thank you Father for everything you do🙏.
    But I have a question that is off-topic to this article, I was wondering in Romans 1, when Paul says « and their foolish hearts were darkened », what is the cause of this darkening ?
    I had a lot of trouble understanding this passage because I couldn’t differentiate between the cause and the result of their « darkening of the hearts ». Does Paul mean by «  the darkening of the heart » that idolatry was the result or that idolatry
    was the cause of this darkening ?

  14. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Alexandre,
    The passage does not state the cause in the sense that you describe. I think it describes what follows from not giving thanks and honoring God (to the extent that He had made Himself known).

  15. Byron Avatar
    Byron

    I learned far more after I converted and was immersed in the liturgical life of the Church. The Orthodox faith is learned by doing – rather than by theory. Even the things that I knew “by theory” and was “correct” about – I came to know them in a different way and far more profoundly through the actions of the liturgies. Orthodox from-the-outside is not the same thing as from-the-inside. The inside is much, much larger than the outside.

    Thank you for this, Father! A wonderful statement!

  16. Mary Avatar
    Mary

    Fr. Stephen, I have read your writing for several years, and always feel that I can trust your insight. Thank you for writing this. There is something here that you touch on that I cannot quite put into words. I used to be involved with an organisation supporting women to find themselves in motherhood as well as with the practicalities of feeding infants. I miss that work because it seemed somehow to be allowing a living reflection of an icon to be created in the world, repeated through many individuals. The mother-infant dyad seems made holy, in a sense, by the Theotokos (I hope I use the word correctly, I am not orthodox). Now even that work has been touched by the abandoning of a male/female understanding of humanity, dealing instead with birthing persons and chest-feeding, and the ideals of motherhood and mothering have become offensive.

  17. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Bryon, especially when receiving Holy Communion.

  18. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Psalm 50/51 is a wonderful prayer that, IMO, only takes on fullness in the Church’s life of prayer, repentance and thanksgiving: personal and communal

  19. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Mary,
    There is some very confused thinking that, in the name of protecting one group, is distorting the world for others. It is, I think, one of the hallmarks of modernity. It seeks to end suffering and winds up creating more in its efforts.

    God give us grace in such times as these –

  20. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Mary,
    I understand what you’re describing. There is indeed an undercurrent in the culture to dismiss ontological realities in the ways you describe and in others. May our Lord help us.

  21. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Dear Father,
    I appreciate your response to me and others elaborating on your word “marination” within the services and Orthodox ethos. It is a culture unto itself, a different stream, and it takes time in immersion within it to see and hear in an Orthodox Way, no matter what our background.

    By the way, I take you to be the best-case scenario of what becomes of a Protestant who becomes Orthodox. Would all Orthodox who were formally Protestant be what you have become (and please forgive me for saying this). We all have our baggage, may the Lord open my eyes to see others with His loving eyes.

  22. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Alexandre,
    I offer my thoughts in addition to what Father has already said (therefore, they may be unnecessary). A lesson for me about my own darkened heart occurred when I held some angst with someone’s behavior. That angst darkened my heart, in the sense that I could no longer view the person without the angst, blocking my capacity to see the other with the image of Christ within them. Then, that realization showed me the dissonance within my heart from the works of the Holy Spirit. Nevertheless, I had difficulty shaking the angst. So I prayed, asking for help in this particular regard. I was still hurting. But I raised the hurt to Our Lord. And let Him take care of the rest, in the hope that such angst will dissolve.

    If we do not look to God under such circumstances, then we likely end up perpetuating the darkness within our hearts. –This is my take.

  23. Dee of St Herman Avatar
    Dee of St Herman

    Terry,
    Amen!!

  24. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Dee, I am sure Father would agree, but what he does is half the job or less. Hearts must have at least a crack open to receive the truth. I was received into the Church in 1986. It has been, at times, a rocky journey as my will and sins kept mucking up the trail.

  25. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Mt 4:17: “Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand”

    That seems to be the key. You know that. But each of us must, in humility, continue in a life of repentance.

    Mary says it best: “Let it be done unto me according to your Word.”

  26. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michael,
    Scripture tells us, that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Cracks and such (opening of the heart) is important – but it is God who saves us – who works in us “both to will and to do of His good pleasure.” I would hesitate to even take credit for the “crack.” I’m not propounding a theory of salvation – but simply understanding that the whole of it – is God’s mercy.

    St. Paul, as I recall, had to be knocked off a horse and blinded before he even asked the question, “Who are you?”

  27. Lina Avatar
    Lina

    Mary says to the servants at the wedding in Cana, ” Whatever He says to you, do it. John 2:5

    Seems to me a good piece of advice.

  28. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Father, I was thinking of a man I know who has consciously and willingly hardened his heart, even though he knows better.

    But I was also thinking on the simple practice of the Jesus Prayer.

    Certainly no one can run away forever, but as with Paul, I can make it harder.

  29. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Michael,
    I’m simply astounded by the human heart as I think back through the years – for good and ill. I’m astounded.

  30. Michael Bauman Avatar
    Michael Bauman

    Yet, Father, over the years I have begun to see more and more love extant than I used to recognize; more genuine desire to know our Lord and His Mercy. Especially if I work at opening my heart to them.

    That part is new, but it seems to be bearing fruit.

  31. Alexandre Avatar
    Alexandre

    Dear Father,
    Thank you for your answer, considering that the darkening of the heart followed the fact that they did not glorify God as they should have, then what is the result of this darkening of their hearts ?
    Can the darkening of the heart / the nous because of sins, cause unbelief and lead someone to deny the existence of The One True God ?
    I’m not sure if these 2 questions have any relations to each other, but I feel like Ephesians 4:18-19 explains that sins lead to a darkening of the heart/nous and thus unbelief and false beliefs. Please Father correct me if I’m wrong 🙏❤️

  32. Fr. Stephen Avatar

    Alexandre,
    Forgive me, but I think it is better to concentrate on how the heart is enlightened and warmed.

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